Time constraints brought upon by me being a university senior mean college classes and other boring priorities have kept me from completing Torchlight II before today for a ready-at-launch review.
Believe me, I’m more broken up about it than you could ever be.
Despite that unfinished status, I’ve still spent a significant amount of time tearing through the attacking terrors in Runic’s new title, and obliterating baddies has been a total blast. Hardly one to leave you hanging, here is my comprehensive list of 10 lovely reasons why you should buy Torchlight II on the double.
It’s Always Fun
Always. As in, “fun all the time.” Conversely as in, “never not fun.” My many nightly Torchlight II marathons have only ever left me wanting more. I fall asleep scolding my morning courses and wake up wishing I could climb right back into the boots of my Outlander, dual-wielding pistols to pulverize any who dare challenge me. One might prefer the word “addicting,” although that term too often comes carrying a negative connotation. And there’s nothing negative about this beautiful breed of fun. It’s a blissful fun, an active and satisfying fun that’s impossible to truly describe. So see it for yourself, won’t you? You’d be doing your mind and body a disservice not to.
It’s Drop-Dead Gorgeous
Colors. Colors everywhere. Vibrant colors that come together to form a fantastic package of pure eye candy. This is art direction that never dies, a visual styling that will still look stellar in seven years when our Battlefield 3s, Star Wars 1313s, and dare I say Diablo IIIs all look dated and antiquated. It speaks of personality, of creativity inspired by something other than the real world around us, and I’m loving every moment of it.
It’s Full of Surprises
Secret rooms whisk you away to sacred loot stashes that appear nowhere on the map screen. Ambushing enemies collect at your vulnerable location upon opening a booby trapped chest. Rare creatures clamber to evade your advances, yet annihilating them opens up phase portals to mysterious objective-based areas where success results in wonderful rewards. With something exciting hiding around every corner, Torchlight II is sure to keep you on your toes.
Its Lush with Loot
Don’t get too attached to your present pieces of gear, because she’s all coming off in no time at all. Few things are as satisfying as swapping out those used-to-be-so-special swords and shields for something that stands beyond comparison. Loot from chests, loot from quests, and, of course, loot from big bad beasts in need of a good beat down. These goodies aren’t going to grab themselves, so get yourself a copy already.
It Does Multiplayer. Or Not.
Party up with pals scattered across the country for a night on the Torchlight II town? Not a problem. Prefer the classic act of establishing a LAN connection? Torchlight does that, too. Or are you like me, stricken with an unreliable Comcast router that requires a power cycle every few hours, just because? Sounds like Torchlight II’s terrific single-player experience is exactly what you’re looking for. Play however you’d like to play, and let no controlling faceless other take away that freedom.
It Runs Well
My PC is quickly becoming a pile of trash. The Diablo III beta couldn’t stop screaming at me for not meeting the minimum requirements, saying I should sprint in the opposite direction and never come near the game again. As I bought a low-end laptop in the first place without planning for anything but indie gaming anyway, this pathetic past is admittedly no surprise. With Torchlight II, however, everything runs silky-smooth, and my settings are even set at mid-level specs! It’s an incredible feat that shouldn’t be overlooked, and I’m as appreciative as I am amazed at the performance.
It’s an Unbeatable Value
Twenty dollars. Tens of hours of strictly-one-time-through-the-story gameplay, with four character classes to ramp up the replayability. A little long division…and as I carry the one, the exact value comes out to something around Unbelievable. Whoever said good games had to be standardized at sixty dollars, anyway? An ignorant individual, that’s who! Now stop listening to him and buy Torchlight II.
It Can Be Played One-Handed
Perhaps you have an unabashed adoration for Cheetos and detest the orange dust that collects on absolutely everything, yet still cannot separate yourself from the savory snack. I’m not judging, just saying. In a more serious situation, maybe you have a handicap that keeps you from enjoying all of the spectacular gaming offerings that the rest of us take for granted. Whatever the case, Torchlight II’s user interface allows for a fully-functional playthrough using nothing but a mouse. What’s more, your reflexes will soar above any of ours as you stream that cursor across the screen with finesse. While not directly related to me, I have to tip my hat to the easy accessibility.
It’s an Awesome Time Killer
If save points are so last gen, then manual saving is so last week. Torchlight II auto-saves all the time so you can worry about what’s really important: playing the game. This structure makes this title perfect for short pick-up-and-play sessions in addition to traditional dedicated all-night action. Avoid those awkward hour-or-two gaps between classes (or those awkward employees during your lunch break) by firing up Torchlight II instead. And, as it runs on just about anything, you won’t need to lug around anything more than the light laptop you’re already using to browse Facebook and Reddit while pretending to take notes.
Yes, cats. Make the wise choice and choose a cat from the wide array of available pets at the start of your adventure. Because the Internet loves cats, and so does Torchlight II.
Convinced yet? You should be, so mosey on over to Steam and pick up my new favorite plaything. While you’re at it, you might as well snag the soundtrack, free of charge because Runic Games is a remarkable studio.
But Torchlight II can’t be for everyone, right? Unfortunately, that seemingly ludicrous statement is correct…Reluctantly, here are a fast five reasons why you shouldn’t buy Torchlight II.
- You Don’t Like Fun – If your ideal day involves a trip to the DMV and getting stuck in traffic along the way while the only radio station in town is running a Nickelback celebration, Torchlight II might not be for you.
- You Don’t Like Color – Sludge-brown has to be somebody’s favorite color, and I assure you Torchlight II isn’t overrun with shades of gray. If that’s your thing, stay away.
- You Don’t Like a Sense of Accomplishment – What’s better than doing an entire project’s worth of work and being completely snubbed by your boss as he takes the praise for himself? Many things, actually, but that’s just me. Who knows, maybe these are the scenarios you live for.
- You Don’t Like Saving Money – Scoffing at any game that doesn’t meet the $60 mark will definitely keep you distant from this one as it simply isn’t be sold at such a price.
- You Don’t Like PC Games – On second thought, you should go ahead and get Torchlight II anyway if this is your traditional MO. Something this special is sure to change your mind.
Keep a close on Gamers-Association.com over the next week for my eventual full review, and enjoy the extraordinary Torchlight II.
Remember that note about the nasty nature of my poor laptop? Right, well, apparently none of my screenshots turned out…That said, thanks to Giant Bomb, GameSpy, and GamezRoomX for helping out.