Adventures with CODBLOPS: My journey to the center of the Call of Duty storm. From zero to prestige and beyond.
Well, looky here. A new Call of Duty game breaks its own record of money-making for the fourth year running. This is where I would typically start whining about military manshoots or EA’s insistence on ruining franchises by annualization. But, then again, let’s change it up. Like, reaaallly change it up. Let’s take a long look Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.
With CoD: BLOPS 2, the most unfortunate Internet-given abbreviation ever, I think I have finally come around full-circle. Tonight, I will pick me up a Call of Duty game (and by that I mean download — I’m such a geezer). I never imagined I would write those words. Now, many of you are probably crying foul on my egregious flip-flop. Honestly, I’m not even going to bother linking you to the dozens of articles in which I’ve poked fun. There are just too many. But, am I not allowed to change? Is contradiction not the spice of life?
I was not always this way. Back in the day, I played a more-than-healthy bit of CoD and enjoyed it. But then Modern Warfare 2 and BLOPS came out, seemingly shoving the games into parodies of parodies of fluffed-up idiocy. It left a smelly, stinky, smarmy taste in my mouth, only to be fully exploited by the arrival of last year’s truly uninspired MW3. So, what’s changed?
One of two things. Either the game has finally evolved into something so different and so far-removed from what I remember that I don’t feel betrayed or even disappointed anymore or — more likely — I have changed. Maybe it’s even a bit of both. But where the previous few iterations had the undeniable feel of talking down to the player, BLOPS 2 feels — it feels more comfortable and less self-interested. Why should I hold myself above such a game? For my own pretentious airs? I won’t any more.
It appears that, with BLOPS 2, the gloves are off and the fancies are cast away. It seems to be shouting at you all the time with, “DUDE! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!” And I really do. I want to play a game that is so unabashedly game-y. It’s a beautiful thing, and I think I was lying to myself a little bit while I hated on the previous titles. In BLOPS 2’s swing from self-important piousness to flying robot-copters, I’m hoping it also made the swing back to a goodtime bro-down of a game without the hubub.
You might even be wondering if this is all real. Was I payed off by EA or Activision? Will I really give CoD an honest shake? Is this some meta-level of setup, where after announcing my intentions I turn around and use them as a scaffold to hoist up my opinions, slamming it? No. Not one bit. I will be paying for this game with my own money, forever branding my Visa with the purchase history. I’m honest and I’m ready. I want to see what it’s all about. I’m the lab rat.
Boom, here we are, I am formally introducing my new series Adventures with CoDBLOPS. I will play it and honestly, earnestly try to enjoy myself, giving you all a periodic recap. Heck, I might not even formally review it. I’m not terribly interested in plot anyways. One last time:
I feel I was wrong. I am trying to make up for it. Just one man, a bunch of kills, a bunch of gun and a bunch of reasons to enjoy Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 – I mean CoDBLOPS 2. Won’t you join me?