Why Real Gamers Won’t Be Buying BioShock Infinite

The Internet’s been pretty excited about BioShock Infinite this week, and why shouldn’t it be? According to that 2K marketing department, the original is apparently the highest-rated first-person shooter of all time. That’s a big deal, brother, especially when you consider that FPS is the best genre around and Metacritic ratings are a gospel to live by. Unfortunately, Infinite is different, and not in the exciting way you might imagine. No, BioShock Infinite actually sports several features that make it a disgusting disaster from day one that real gamers should refuse to buy. I know I will, and here’s why.

The Delay

Announced ages ago in 2010, BioShock Infinite has been delayed at least a dozen times. Or if it hasn’t, it sure feels like it. You know what that is? Plain rude. Gamers across the world demanded an earlier release date for Infinite and damn if we didn’t deserve the opportunity to put it in our Christmas stockings in 2012. Now it’s showing up so many years later and expecting our warm welcome? Sorry sister, we won’t be giving you one. Duke Nukem Forever already proved that delaying a game too long makes it automatically awful, so why did Irrational Games do this to us? I mean, what’s the big deal? Fantastic franchises like Assassin’s Creed and Madden receive a new release every year, so why not BioShock? Everyone knows the series would make more money if it were annualized anyway. Everyone except its idiot publisher. Get it together, 2K, because BioShock will forever be remembered as that dumb game that got delayed. And there’s no one to blame but you.

Columbia isn’t Rapture

It’s an undeniable fact that trilogies are the ultimate formula for a franchise, but BioShock Infinite flung that free tip out its miles-high window. Rapture was crazy, creepy, and somewhere I was comfortable. I would literally do anything to retread that underwater ground, yet somehow we ended up in a stupid cloud city that’s probably a direct rip-off from Empire Strikes Back. Even if the first two stories found their own conclusions, couldn’t Ken Levine invent another narrative to happen in Rapture? How about a prequel? God of War: Ascension and Gears of War: Judgement recently showed us all that prequels are the hands-down most intriguing and engaging entries in a series, yet it seems like BioShock missed that bus to Success Town. Such easy steps, so blatantly ignored. What a pity.

No Multiplayer

BioShock 2 is universally believed to be the better of the past two games, superior to the original for one solid reason: multiplayer. Shooters are all about showing off serious skills and Infinite is a classic case of a developer not learning from its oh-so-early mistakes. When this main campaign’s over, that’s it. Honestly. I can’t even configure how low that hours/dollar value will be for those sorry souls who were already sucked in to picking up a copy. Hey 2K, you know why Call of Duty is the biggest game in the world? Multiplayer. Sweet, sweet muliplayer. Because those guys are smart. They understand this direct relationship: The more multiplayers you have, the higher your user review scores become. It’s science. You screwed it up.

Here’s a video about the worst girl in gaming.

Giant Escort Mission

Have you seen that wimpy girl in the trailers for BioShock Infinite? Well, it sounds like she follows you around the entire time! Guess what, game designers? The PlayStation 2 called – it wants its escort missions back. Games with these terrible things probably have a Metacritic average no better than a 40, tops. They’re the reason we all hated Ico and they’re another reason we all hate Infinite. She’d be another man if it were up to me. Maybe then she’d actually fit in a guy’s game, with an awesome co-op campaign like in Army of Two. Instead, I bet you can’t even shoot her. Prepare to scream her name in sheer frustration as she gets in the way of every enemy you were just about to kill before you died. If anything, at least 2K had the brains to keep her off the front cover art.

Racism

I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right, but I heard this new world is pretty racist (another reason we should still be in Rapture, by the way). It’s not even confirmed if you can shoot the racists (and wouldn’t that situation have made the perfect team deathmatch scenario?). Rather, Infinite’s racism is intertwined with its bizarre story – bizarre, of course, because racism is dead. It has been for years and it’s better if we don’t remember those dark days. Especially in video games, a hobby that’s supposed to be fun 100% of the time. We signed up to kill faceless foes, not watch an introspective soapbox preaching Ken Levine’s views on nonexistent societal issues. When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News. For now, I want to game. And I’ll game with absolutely anything that isn’t entitled BioShock Infinite.

Written by: Luke Frazier

Gaming industry addict. Twitter fiend. Unabashed lover of Kingdom Hearts. Other favorites include The Legend of Zelda, Portal, Bioshock, Journey, and peanut butter & banana sandwiches. Also, oatmeal. Let's be friends. @LukeAFrazier – Steam/PSN: GodAlliz

  • Diotalevi

    This really is the dumbest article i’ve read in a while. Why real gamers wont be buying? lol Bioshock two had multiplayer yet some i guess fake gamers say its the weakest in the series. Racism is dead? Where the hell do you live Pefectia? Look around the world, racism is just as relevant as it was during your pappies day. Keep in mind other countries besides the US and Uk do exist and thats not to say racism doesnt exist in those countries. Not to mention Infinite looks an awful lot like the past… um kind of like the civil war era… Lol go watch your serious stuff on fox news and get out of the industry of journalism.

  • Nitrous…

    If the game upsets u so much play bioshock 2…infinite is a great game and if i wanted to read someone ranting on how the game sucks so much i’ll take my games news elsewhere.

    Seriously tho…you sound like a 16 year old kid who can’t have his way…grow up!! If you want to play a muliplayer game, PLAY ONE!! If your upset that it’s not rapture, guess what IT”S NOT!! If you’re upset about the delay, get over it R* never tells anyone about when the new gta game comes out for this very reason!! Irrational Games actually decided to tell their fans what they were working on…
    And since this was written in March 28th 2013 i’m assuming your mind has changed since then if not…well you sir are a moron i have no respect for, good day to you!

  • Me

    Because this game really sucks !!!
    Nuff said …

  • Lajos László Viktor

    Wow, the author is a dumb piece of shit.

  • Nova

    The stupid…it burns…

  • richie

    This review is utter crap. Its a good game, they delayed the game so it doesn’t crash on the first missions, if you prefer a half assed game over a good game where developers took there time then you should probably grow up. And why should anyone care if the game is underwater or not, its more of a personal choice then anything. Like how I personally like it better in the sky, because when it was under water I felt depressed during most of the game play and wanted to cut my wrist. And there’s racism…..nothing new, lots of games have racism, in fact some games are based on racism. This is not a game review, this is a tantrum a little boy is having because the game developers didn’t do a ‘cod’ and repeat the same style and feel game.

  • David

    This the the dumbest opinion I have ever read. Delaying a game automatically makes it awful? Half life and half life 2 were both delayed constantly? Super smash bros brawl was continually cancelled. You have no right to talk about video games when part of your argument is madden puts out a new game which is completely irrelevent. I thought this was a professional website but I guess not.

  • Your father

    I was thinking the author was being sardonic but it appears he is just an utter moron. He doesn’t get paid for this article does he? If not, then who cares what this guy’s opinion is other than to not waste time reading anything else he writes. He is probably 13 years old so I shouldn’t be too critical. I do hope that his parents get busted for letting their minor play a pirated game and as a punishment they take the kid’s computer and gaming consoles away. I enjoyed BSI and I’ve been playing computer games since you had to stick a beige phone receiver into a couple of rubber receptacles that were on a typewriter looking machine and the graphics were dot matrix printing on crap paper….Almost every game today has been nerfed to appeal to the brain dead attention deficit generation this author is representing. No wonder he hated this one.

  • Dogfood

    1. Delays are necessary to make a game into what the developers want, and what you want. 2. columbia isn’t as disturbing as rapture, but its very cool anyway. 3. multiplayer? who needs multiplayer when you can instead have an outstanding single player. 4. yes, she follows you around, but no, it isn’t an escort mission, because she helps you, and you never have to protect her during combat. 5. there is racism in the game, but its treated maturely and it uses racism only to further flesh out the world. Sorry, Ik BSI been out for almost a year, but this amount of pre-judgement just makes me angry.

  • Cweed37

    The only good point of this entire page is the delay. Everything else was complete bullshit. Maybe the poster shouldn’t talk bash something before looking into it more. It is definitely not a giant escort mission. She never gets shot at or gets in the way, and you must be a f*cking pansy if you’re complaining about racism. It’s historically accurate. Finally, you don’t need multiplayer to make a good game. The BS2 multiplayer was shit anyway.

  • speelbergo

    wow whoever wrote this couldn’t have possibly been more wrong about Elizabeth. And everything else in this article that feels like it was written by a 12 year old. “Girls are dumb! Games without multiplayer are dumb! I had to wait a long time for this game so that’s dumb! Changing the setting for this game was dumb!” I will never intentionally read another article written by this author.

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  • Dudegurl

    “Universally believed to be the better of the two games.” This must be satire. Well done sir.

  • Maria

    Ah, no…
    Bioshock Infinite IS a great game… It’s the ONLY FPS I actually like.
    Racism? What are you gonna do when I tell you that I’m a white Arab?!
    Oh, wait.. why am I even wasting my time? …”I haven’t played Bioshock Infinite yet but I’m writing a review!” Yeah, right…
    And what is this? “A pirated copy”? And you call yourself a GAMER?
    SHAME ON YOU!

  • ThatMassGuy

    9 months late to the party, I know – but MAN this author probably feels stupid now. I don’t know if he ever got around to playing Infinite… but, as a hardcore gamer, everything that he complained about in anticipation turned out to be the best aspects of what was truly one of the best shooters I’ve ever played in my life.

    I guess that just goes to show you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Inifinite was a huge success (and better than Bioshock 1 and 2 combined!)

  • BiscuitWheels

    All the comments..oh, my god..does the author need clown shoes and a spinning bow tie before you realize it’s satire? How can you people muster up the brainpower to even breathe?

  • PreseasAxe .

    i bet this guy feels like a retard now that the game’s come out and everything he said minus the multiplayer is wrong.

  • jimbly

    this is the funniest article i’ve ever read. I don’t even know where to start with anything, but as far as the racism goes, it takes place in 1912, when everyone was still real racist, not to mention it also takes place in a city developed by and for racist people, and all the racists are bad guys anyway…. so…. you’re an idiot

  • Gordon.

    You really need to learn to write a decent article. This was really a waste of my tiem.

  • xDarknessx

    The author of this article makes true gamers like myself feel ashamed. Saying a game is automatically bad because it is delayed is just down right stupid. Would you prefer we got an unfinished game released? Oh wait, you’d probably bitch about that too. I know I do every time EA releases something. I would rather a game be delayed and completed before release than an unfinished, untested, buggy as hell game gets released any day of the week. Your article really makes you sound like a little kid and your complaints about the game send you is the exact opposite direction from what a true gamer is.
    P.S. If you are so blind to think that racism is not still a major part of our society it might be a good idea for you to turn the games off for a bit and take a look at what is happening in the real world.

  • Professor Penguin

    Dear god, there’s no way you’re actually being serious right now.
    It sounds like you’re being stupid on purpose.

    • Professor Penguin

      Aaand I’m just now realizing it is satire. Apologies, I do appreciate satire, but with all the actually stupid people on the internet, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

  • Dylan MacKinnon

    Well you couldnt have been more wrong.

    Also who says Bioshock 2 is the better of the two? Most think it it was rushed, and didnt live up the the first one.

    1. Delays are good, at least is this case. They delayed infinite because they didnt want to put out an unfinished product. The delay meant they were making the game better, so they could put out the best product they could. Not every game can be an annual occurence. COD can because it doesnt really change much, but with a game that revolves around story and the world you are in like this, it takes time. I would rather wait 4 years and play an awesome game, then pay $60 for a mediocre game every year. Only multiplayer games can pull off the one a year game with success.

    2.If you wereto play the game, you would realize the connection between Rapture and Columbia. Both are great worlds, and leaving Rapture was a good idea because at this point Rapture’s story had been told

    3.Multiplayer isn’t everything. Go Play COD if you want multiplayer. Bioshock is a game about Story, and Infinite had maybe the best story of all time. Also you mention reviews, yet Bioshock games, with the exception of 2, got better ratings than COD.

    4. The relationship between Dewitt and Elizabeth is one of the best parts of the Game. You spend very little time escorting her, and she is helpful in battles throwing you ammo and health.

    5. Racism is very real, and was a part of that time. To ignore it would have been an insult. Again i you dont want actual substance in your games, go play COD.

  • Reiizm

    some of the most contrived perspectives and ignorant generalizations I’ve ever read in an article. O lawdy please be trolling.

  • http://godisunimaginary.com Kenny Elliott

    Well, this article turned out to be all wrong. lol

  • 3pedro3

    Well, this will be a rant. First of all, Luke Fraiser, do you like the latest CoD better than this? If so, learn to enjoy the story of a game,not just the gameplay. I’ll go at this by your points:

    1. The Delay – really, you are complayning about a game being delayed, bloody hell. When a game needs to be polished and finished up, the devs delay it, without that polish, most games would be incomplete and shit. Also, if bioshock released yearly, it would get blander and blander until it died, like the recent news that fifa 14 for the 3ds is exactly the same as fifa 13.

    2. Columbia isn’t Rapture – No, it isn’t, also, the game is called Bioshock: Infinite not Bioshock 3 or Bioshock the Prequel. Different is good, thats why sports games get boring. “Rapture was crazy, creepy, and somewhere I was comfortable”, well, you are relating yourself to a crazy and creepy place, but I digress… wait, you didn’t even play the fucking game, how can you judge it if you didn’t even fucking play…(next point while I close my mouth)

    3. No Multyplayer – Serious skill in ALL shooters, really? If you mean a game like Counter-Strike, yes to be a “master at the game requires skil and prefeciency, but a game like CoD requires no skill past shoot moving enemies, this reminds me of the time when I misclicked on youtube and saw a video of someone jumping in a weird way and shooting a dude, that it say something about jizz… oh and do you REALLY want a forced shitty multiplayer in ALL games, if you want that FUCK YOU. Next! But first, Bioshock 2 better than 1 for its multiplayer… thank you for making me cry while laughing. BTW: hours per dollar and you are pirating the game, fuck CoD, and sports games, and you Luke Fraiser.

    4. Giant Escort Mission – Let’s sum this up, Elisabeth never dies, she gives you helpful stuff and “we all hated Ico” <–nope.

    5. Racism – Pirated copy… that's it I need a pause… (5 mins later…) the game aproaches racism in a very good way, STOP RAMMING FUCKING MULTIPLAYER GRRRRRR. Gaming doesn't need to be fun, check, for example spec ops the line, an average game on gameplay and amazing story. Also, racism is dead, isn't it (Have you ever killed another american in CoD, or was it just Russians, Japanese and Germans? When you played as the "super villain" it doesn't count).

    6. FINALE (yay, I can go sleep) – "When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News. For now, I want to game. And I’ll game with absolutely anything that isn’t entitled BioShock Infinite" Firstly, did you just say that Fox News is serious, that is funny, well, thank fuck you won't play this game, because it wasn't marketed at idiots like you.

    PS: metacritic is stupid because most critics are shit (aka they sold out for MONNAY!!) and by "real gamers" do you mean the CoD cunts, if that is the case, I'm a fake gamer!

    Fuck Call of Duty, fuck Sports games , fuck bland and repetitive games, and fuck corporate sellouts that make a game for metacritic reviewers and not the fans!

    3pedro3 out.

  • Guest

    “BioShock 2 is universally believed to be the better of the past two games” from what i heard it was the most hated one

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  • Doe

    Racism don’t exist anymore ?
    Smell like bullshits here.

  • Arcendus

    Lol yet another article that’s uses intentionally ignorant and outright unfounded arguments just to get more clicks. After this, I will never read another article on this site again. And in the off-chance that the “author” here really believes the smattering of words that resulted from his slamming the keyboard with his fingers… Never mind, even knowing full well the extent of blatant stupidity that exists on the internet, that can’t possibly be the case.

  • Angry Beaver

    So… This article must have come out before they played the game. Hell I even checked to see if it was posted on April 1st. there are so many areas that i dis-agree with in this article that I’ll choose only one point. Infinite is but, it isn’t a “giant escort mission” yes, she follows you around, but she doesn’t get in the way or die, she also helps in a awesome way and well….plot, amazing mind blowing plot, that is all.

  • Vilagen

    I came here while just browsing around, but guys, it’s a joke. I bought it at first as well, but after half way through the article the writer wasn’t even trying to be subtle any longer.

  • Guest

    The whole thing is stupid. I really can’t describe this article as anything other than “stupid”… the whole thing!

  • Benjamin Bone

    clearly anyone and everyone can get a column published here. It’s easy for me to criticize this article based on hindsight, as the game turned out to be great, but let’s take a look at some of the things he’s saying, and address them as if I haven’t played the game. First, the delay. 3 years isn’t a long time when it comes to making games. Do you know how long it was between making Oblivion to Skyrim? 5 years. Final Fantasy 7 from Final Fantasy 6, 3 years. You want long? Duke nukem forever, 15 years. THAT’S too long. 3 is what it takes to make a game well.
    It’s not rapture: Waaaah, the sequel isn’t basically a clone of my last favorite game! This has been the cry of every final fantasy fan since FF7, but hey, guess what; FF7 wasn’t set in Coneria. It was set in Midgard, a brand new setting. Turns out when a series changes things up, it can actually be GOOD. If you want a straight up clone of a game, posted yearly, stick to Madden.
    As for no multiplayer… absolutely right. There’s not, and that’s a downside, a lack of multiplayer detracts from the fun of sharing your favorite games with your friends. However, does a great game NEED multiplayer? As a fan of the Silent Hill series, I say no. Likewise, no Elder Scrolls game (yet) has had multiplayer, and they all rock. How about the first Bioshock? I know you think the sequel was better, but having played both, I have to say I got the better experience from the original, because it was fresh and unexpected (again, clones of good games do not, necessarily make good games) in spite of the fact that the first Bioshock had absolutely 0 multiplayer.
    Finally, racism is dead? Really? REALLY? Wow, it must be nice to live in whatever world you head off to in your head, or are you only basing this off of the fact that you, personally, haven’t lynched anyone in a while so you assume all racism everywhere has stopped. Even if it had, theoretically, does that mean including it in a piece set in the 1930s makes it a bad game? Hey, what racist thing was about to happen over the atlantic, just a few years later? Hmmm, oh well, I’ve forgotten, and let’s never anyone mention it again, because forgetting the past is the best way to avoid repeating it, right?

    Out of all of those points you made, only the one about a full-game escort mission wasn’t invalid right from the start. And after 10 minutes of finding Elizabeth, you find out that all the bad things about escort missions (mainly, keeping incompetent people alive, and getting dragged around places you don’t want to go) don’t apply to this game. Resident Evil 5 was an all-game escort mission that was worse than this, because at least Elizabeth didn’t waste all my ammo putting bullets into the back of my head, or stuck in a corner to become a zombie buffet.

  • JaundicedView

    Hmmm, should this person be foolish enough to mention that he pirated the game in the first place? The point of dealing with warez is to stay off the radar of corporate heavies, not scream, “HEY, GUYS, I PIRATE GAMES” at the top of your lungs.

  • YungJig

    Video games have been taking over movies for years. You’re just now starting to realize that games have almost become the best medium for entertainment?

  • SgtP3pp3r

    This was obviously written by a CoD playing whiny teenager. And if it wasn´t it sure feels like it was. First and foremost, FPS aren´t the best genre. Period.

    Second, the game creators owe you nothing. Generally speaking, the best games usually are those that aren´t aiming to please the biggest crowd, but usually those that are made to please a specific group or niche; or on the off hand, those that are so spectacular no one with half a brain can set the control down. Games that aim to please everyone usually are the ones that have a lasting appeal of 15 min. Like every single CoD and every CoD clone… which you probably own.

    It isn´t rude not to release a game every year… It shows the game is a polished masterpiece and not just another dumb clone.

    Of course Columbia isnt Rapture. These are two diffrent games, with diffrent stories, that each have ORIGINALITY. Something you probably don´t value considering how much CoD you probably play.

    On your views about multiplayer, one word: No.

    You are the type of player I wish wouldnt exist, you are the banal muck that buys the clones. You are the rubbish that kills originality. You are the soilent-green-eating drone.

    Go back to playing CoD, I can assure you, you will not be missed.

  • Roca

    Your article is nothing but a laugh. The main error in your text is that you use your opinions as if they seré facts. I am a real gamer with almost three decades with that hobby, and in all that time i enjoy more the single palyers over any kind of multiplayer (maybe with the exception of a deathmat in a welldone rts), so, using your personal preferences saying that a game is better than the other just because you it has multiplayer, is a personal like, a point of view, not a fact. You have the right to express your likes, but you cant say that that is the correct order of things. In fact, for me, a real gamer, it was a good thing that bioshock infinite does not had multiplayer.
    The other thing laughable about your article is that racism is dead. This game use is against racism and it only uses it to attack it, but they talki about any kind of racism, not only the one against black people. Instead the talk about a part of your country’s history when racism against latins, asian people, irish, etc. was very alive. And you should think, there is no racism against muslims or latins in your country?
    Sorry about the grammar, but english is not my fisrt language

  • Andy

    This is the worst piece of writing I think I’ve ever seen. Spout your shitty opinions of a game you haven’t even played yet to your self and keep it from clogging up the internet, we could use the space for more porn. I really hope this was all a joke? Army of two having a good co-op is enough of one already.

  • Whoever

    Ignorance is bliss, people. Remove your heads from your rectums. The game takes place in 1912. Racism was all the rage then. The game is historically accurate. Get over it. It is also an awesome game.

  • Eclipse2144

    Maybe you should actually try the game before bashing on it, idiot.

  • Pickster

    What an awful load of drivel

  • Terra

    Wow, Luke…is it that time of the month? Reads like it…”waaah, its been in development for three years!”, “waaaaah, I hate games that tackle issues, I dont want to think, thats why I watch Fox News!”…you know?

  • higuide

    so what people still bought the game. they did what they needed when they postponed the game than doing it half assed

  • Michael Link

    Whats worse than racism? People who whine about perceived racism as an excuse to have lives wrecked by stupid personal decisions. My job sucks and I have a crappy car – RACISM. I have no friends and my bank account is empty because I spend all my time drinking – RACISM. I got busted for selling crack and spent 2yrs in jail – RACISM.

  • pants

    Go fuck you’re self luke. just go die u useless pedo

  • Confused

    Ummm racism is dead? You clearly have no experience in the matter, huh?

  • Maverick

    This guy is a complete idiot and needs to be shot in the face repeatedly. Infinite is fantastic and everyone needs to play it. period. Oh, and by the way, it scored a 93 meta-critic score.

  • TheJayMan

    Wow this Critic is an absolute idiot! I love how he critiques a game he admits to never playing. I thought Bioshock Infinite was great! However I was a little disappointed with the game lacking the creepy vibe that the previous 2 Bioshocks were famous for.

  • SF

    So many irate comments. How can anyone think the author is being serious when he writes “…my pirated copy still won’t run right…” and “… When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News…”. I think a lot of people missed the point.

  • Anonymous

    Being that Elizabeth hasn’t died at all in my playthroughs, it seems like it’s more of an escort mission for her, not me. Yes, it’s been delayed from time to time but we still got it, right? If people are getting mad about the racism, here’s a thing.. It’s a game, not real life. Grow up. Who cares if it’s not multiplayer, I’m glad it isn’t because playing with idiots isn’t fun. Rapture made a cameo, so you should be happy about that. I rest my case.

  • Joe

    Your an idiot to think yourself a gamer at all. A Delay? really that’s a reason?
    it’s not rapture? well ok, im sorry.. if things EVOLVE!
    No Multiplayer? Good! it sucked in the last game anyway
    Giant Escort mission? Play the game, she doesn’t even take damage or is a target
    Racism? DUH! THE TIME AND THE ERA! YOU IDIOT! it’s called history look it up. it’s actually 100% accurate to that time period, specially in a white dominate society.

    your a failure as a gamer.

  • joe

    Not sure but you must be an idiot! Racism is dead? Are you serious? It has been dead for a long time you say? you must not know any non pasty white people! Racism is a huge factor in many peoples lives especially us lower income families. Racism is very much alive you twit so why don’t you get off your butt and go outside and meet some non-pasty white people so you can see! Also your article was retarded you are crying about how they delayed it awwwww whaaaa I would rather they delay it then have a rushed crappy game! Oh one more thing: your whining about multiplayer…. really? Multiplayer means better reviews? Are you stupid? I’m done, lol your crying about a delayed game saying that it will be just known as the game that got delayed lol that is so funny lol how could they do this to us lol you’re funny dork get a life

  • Anon

    You know nothing about what makes a good game. In fact, you lost all validity when you mentioned Ico, one of the greatest puzzle games ever. Newsflash, the fact that it’s an escort mission is irrelevant if it’s still fun to play.

  • Taylor

    Looks like the author has been reading quite a bit of Jonathon Swift these days.

  • XenoBunnyTheory

    How can this guy have such a heavy opinion on a game he isn’t even buying. Listen here Luke, only real gamers explore the contextual beauty that video games bring us. We play video games because they tell good stories, are fun, and have something that relates to us. You cannot merely judge a game by the graph of a close minded no it all such as yourself. Thank you Luke for stating your opinion that is invalid due to the fact you haven’t even played the game…..

    Sincerely, a bioshock infinite fan

  • blake

    single handedly the worst review of bioshock infinite ive ever seen and no its not just because u say its bad but because u bitch about it not being in the same fucking world as the first two (god forbid they come up with something original) and it talks about racism because its an active issue if you think racism is gone your sadly mistaken and if you say that they ripped off star wars take a look at the whole goddamn series they make a point to rip off star wars as a tribute to it and if you had any sense for detail you would notice the hints they leave (look at the theatre when she opens a tear when you first see her through the glass its playing return of the jedi though the french name because its in paris) you have no idea and do little to no research before posting this bullshit, and no multiplayer maybe just fucking maybe they left it out because ever person despised the multiplayer in bioshock 2 and said multiplayer doesnt belong in a bioshock game fuck your real gamer shit, here before you stands a real gamer who thinks your a real dumbass

  • fantasypenguin

    dude if you havn’t played the game don’t fucken complain play it first I havn’t played it nor will i ever but at least play it to form a full opinion cause that’s just bias. I will agree though the game is over rated.

    but please play the game.

  • Patrick Not Star

    I don’t agree what this guy said about this game.. seems to me that he wants every game to be like Call Of Duty which isn’t really a good game at all.

  • Brockatron

    Wow, just wow. This review dictates EVERYthing wrong with video games today, or at least their fans. You are saying that you give no shit about story, innovation, or anything beyond running around shooting people. If you love COD so much go back to it and let the REAL gamers, the one’s who love new ideas, innovative gameplay, and an involving story above all else, get back to their lives. Think next time you take up arms for everybody when you represent the worst the gaming community has to offer.
    I will say thanks for one thing, though. Thank you, for proving the stereotype that most anyone who says COD multiplayer is a thing to live up to, is a fucking moron.

  • Chuck Wentzell

    You’re an uncultured fool. For shame, good sir, for shame.

  • Dragoon893

    You are retarded.

  • cuakcuak

    “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right” lol, how can someone review a game without playing it before?

  • Patrick

    Wow, i wish this earth was rid of dim-witted idiots like you.
    1) For one, the game was only delayed ONCE. and only for 5 months. Game developers need to take their time to develop a great game.
    2) Multiplayer? Why do we need multiplayer? Most games like Bioshock are CRITICIZED for wasting time making multiplayer instead of working on the main plot. And what happened to your oh-so-holy CoD? Is it not enough anymore?
    3) Bioshock 2 was known as one of the biggest let-downs in the gaming industry. People started getting tired of Rapture. Continuing the series in Rapture would’ve been pitiful.
    4) I don’t know about anyone else, but that was my favorite “escort mission” i had ever been on. I mean, she gives you FREE AMMO and FREE MONEY and KEEPS OUT OF YOUR LINE OF FIRE! What else could you ask for?
    5) The game also scored 94/100 on Metacritic, so quit whining.
    6) Are you seriously complaining about the racism? All it does is creates a background story of the city of Columbia. If you really wanted such a bland, pointless storyline, why don’t you just stick to your Call of Duty? (Also, racism is NOT a thing of the past. I see it every day, everywhere. Can’t escape it. Open your eyes).
    7) Disgusting pirate. If you really don’t want to pay for the game, just borrow it from a friend. Assuming you have any.

  • http://www.google.com/ Jaskov

    I wholeheartedly agree with this picture. Incredible game, by the way!

  • Camilomf

    Man, this writer is bitchy! “It’s just rude…” What is this crazy entitlement coming from? Who “owes” you a game, Duke Nukem? That’s a poor comparison mate, as DNF was FIFTEEN years in development!!! I’d MUCH rather have a solid great game, than get it faster. Look at “Last Guardian” for crying out loud… And no, not every game has the sort of investment that ubisoft has dumped into “Assassins Creed”. And “everyone knows that it’d make more money if it was annualized…” Man, you sound like a whiny girl. I, and many other gamers, DO NOT WANT an industry made only of big budgets cookie cutters. For every Assassins Creed, there’s another company like Activision with executives that couldn’t give a shit about games, (and have very questionable business model, not to mention complete disregard for its employees.) Your vision for the gaming industry is SHORT SIGHTED and idiotic. I should write an article “Why ‘real gamers’ (ahem, as opposed to the ‘imaginary gamers, I guess) won’t be reading bad articles like these….

  • GA worst site ever

    This is the problem with free speech.. Morons like the ones who
    wrote this article are allowed to speak, as if there existence want bad enough.

  • Jay

    “Especially in video games, a hobby that’s supposed to be fun 100% of the time.”
    It’s because of assholes like you that gaming isn’t fun 100% of the time. Stop fucking around and embrace this god damn hobby. The game was delayed. It was released. It was extremely successful and undeniably lots of fun regardless. Stop whining you uncultured twit.

    Jeez, gamers are getting really picky and whiny.

  • OP IS A TIT

    Hey OP, how does the egg on your face taste? I bet you stuck by your guns and made yourself hate it while playing your smug shit pirate copy. Good job, Luke, you can’t write for shit.

  • Jocko

    If this article is serious, it reads like it was written by a 15 year old. If it’s satire, it’s too subtle and unfunny. Either way, it’s terrible and accomplishes nothing.

  • poi1poiu

    BioShock 2 is better than BioShock!?!? BioShock 2 was so bad that they had to release a second campaign for it, and it only cost $10. Now as for BSI being racist, it’s the time period the game’s set in, I for one love the setting the game’s in and don’t see anything wrong with the “racism” because IT’S THE TIME PERIOD! Also, Elizabeth isn’t just some escort, that constantly gives you a hassle and gets in your way at the worst times, she’s more help than anything. Elizabeth has given me more ammo, health kits, and definitely more money, that I could ever care to do with. If anything she’s a valuable asset. Who ever wrote and published this article, should be fired for such atrocity.

    • Dakan45

      bullocks it was far better than the first game.

  • Afraz Anosh

    Don’t really know if this guy was being sarcastic or just plain weird. Readers make your own conclusions:

    –“She’d be another man if it were up to me. Maybe then she’d actually fit in a guy’s game..”–

    –“I bet you can’t even shoot her.”–

    –“Racism is dead. It has been for years and it’s better if we don’t remember those dark days.”–

    –“Everyone knows the series would make more money if it were annualized anyway. Everyone except its idiot publisher.”–

    –“When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News.”–

    Just a side note – This is what happens when you watch Fox News. You start thinking America is the last free, safe haven left on Earth, Europe is just a cheap imitation, China and Russia are plotting for world domination and crazy Arabs just wanna watch the world burn.

    To the author – Take a holiday and travel the world.

  • SHREDDY KRUEGAR

    I enjoy racism

  • Me

    What an awfully thought out article only to admit you haven’t even played it and in fact own a pirate copy! All of your points I see as positive ones. If the game wasn’t ready it’s better to delay it and make it better. Setting it in a different place to Rapture makes it different and you already have two games in Rapture. I hate a tacked on multiplayer. Save the multiplayer for games that are designed to be that way. Look at Tomb Raider for example, brilliant game, shite multiplayer, why bother? It’s hardly an escort mission and I think most people that have played ICO loved it. The racism is part of the story, it’s not pro racism.

  • Tairetsu

    Im asuming this is supose to be a joke,am I right?

  • TPF

    Your an ass.

  • Big M

    Guys, calm it for a second. This isn’t even a troll post. It’s blatant satire. So blatant that it’s literally tagged as such. My guess is that those of you who are truly pissed haven’t read it all yet and just let your “Internet Rage Mode” kick in. Just take another second next time, guys…

  • Birds McConaghan

    I didn’t know this was a joke post until the “No Multiplayer” part. Could have been more subtle.

  • Read!!!

    Wow, this is so incorrect it made me stupider. I believe you should play a game before you corrupt the internet with your useless garbage.
    Your uneducated views make this game seem as though it is not worth buying. The one downpoint of this game is the protagonist actiona towards baptism which will put off heavily religious gamers. Although it frails in comparison to the original bioshock(as many new games still do)it is much better then some idiot who cant afford the game described it. Good game, dont read this idiots views, he is under talking an amazing game. Must get for any real gamer!!!

  • David

    How about playing the d@#m game before complaining about it Luke, I mean I have played the game, yes it’s not “Rapture” but that doesn’t mean a single thing to real gamers. I found the game took a great idea, a city at the bottom of the sea and pardon the pun, really let it soar. And as for your comment on Ico, that game is gathering a huge cult following, I’d do a “little” research before saying we “all” hated it. As for Infinite, Elizabeth helps way more in the game than I had given her credit for when I had first heard the plan for her, she finds guns, ammo, health, and salts(sp or mp in this game). Yes there are things to hate about the game, but I love the fact that it twists America’s own history around and throws this entire game of what if’s at us. So on the end note Red Box the game instead of using your crappy a@@ pirated version. Then I might take you a little more seriously.

  • Tony Stark

    This is all wrong. It’s not an escort mission, she can fight for herself and doesn’t die. The racism is connected to the setting of the game, not used to purport any stereotype in real life. Who gives a shit about multiplayer? Really? In order for a game and it’s story to be great you need to play it with someone else? And whaawhaawhaa, “Columbia Isn’t Rapture”. Well “San Andreas” wasn’t “Liberty City” either but Rockstar made two great games. The setting shouldn’t have to be the same in order for a story within a trilogy to be great.

  • chiffmonkey

    Multiplayer can be a very bad thing. See Spec Ops: The Line for proof.

  • MrLightBringer

    You’re saying that real gamers won’t play this game because it isn’t in the same location as the previous game? What does that have to do with being a gamer? What does racism have to do with being a gamer? On top of every single one of your whiny “reasons,” you admit that you’re trying desperately to play the game via piracy. I played some of Bio1, but stopped half way though because it was a little bit too much on the horror side for myself, but Infinite one of the best games I have ever played.

  • primus

    The game is pretty racist but its not a reason to not buy the game I don’t know if the girl gets in the way or not but I doubt she can be killed by the PC or anyone else. Just to clarify racism isn’t dead alive and well.

  • Anonymoose

    Funny how wrong the author has turned out to be. Not to mention the fact that he sounds like a frustrated retard in the first place. Infinite is easily one of the best games of the decade.

  • Darklelouchg

    The reviewer says “racism is dead” however I would have to disagree on that point, point in fact just go into a the multiplayer of a COD game and you will understand where I am coming from.

  • Sevo

    Is this article serious? Or were you just jelly to not been able to play the game at the time you written it?

    Your arguments seriously sucks! God, you can’t write this kind of thing on a game without even trying to play it! For fucks sake man, you don’t deserve to publish things here.

  • silentandcliche

    This is one of the dumbest articles I’ve ever read. 1. Games get delayed all the time. I’d rather they make sure it’s the game they wanted to make rather than rush it out the door incomplete just to make some arbitrary deadline. 2. I guess you just want rehash after rehash. You’re probably the guy that pre-orders every COD clone/game. 3. See #2. 4. If you’ve actually played the game you’d know that isn’t the case. Elizabeth is never in danger and is actually very helpful in combat. She’s never a burden. 5. This game is very anti-racism. It is depicting a time when racism ran rampant. Just because it accurately depicts racism, doesn’t make it racist. That’s like calling the series “Roots” racist.

  • Derek

    Wow, did I really just write that whole thing just to find out the article is a joke?
    -_____-

  • Derek

    You sir, are a fucking idiot. Nothing in this article is true. Nobody even says Bioshock 2 is better than 1. The multi-player was decent (but tacked on and unnecessary) and the story was subpar in comparison to the first game. It was practically an identical game to Bioshock 1, which is NOT a bad thing. Both 1 and 2 are great games. But because of that, it wasn’t new or refreshing to the gamer. There’s a million reasons why Infinite is so highly regarded. It may not be the most solid SHOOTER, but the development team and Ken Levine were focusing on many more elements than the mindless shooting like in CoD. Incredibly deep story and characters and new environments and emotional connection and suspense etc. All of which games like CoD lack. Fun, but no substance. Just tack a different name on the box and call it a new game when it’s the exact same formula. You’re brainwashed by generic team deathmatch mindless shooting and don’t understand a groundbreaking story-telling masterpiece when it’s right in front of your face.

    • Dakan45

      Oh please bioshock infintie is a freakign joke. Same copy pasted gunfight with 2 weapons limite, a shitty campaign that goes on and one, masterpiece my ass, groundbreaking story telling? AHAHAHH the story telling was fucking horrible.

      Where is the story in bioshock infinite? in the start and the ending which exlpains everything to you so the retarded monkeys who had fun watchign pew pew pew inception will actullay udnerstand the story and go around saying bullshit like “you didnt understand the story”
      pff, the gameplay is just filler to the story, id rather watch a 2 houer movie than play this shit.

  • Just me

    You are the consummate idiot. Reviewing something before you get the final version – most asinine thing I’ve ever heard. Can’t put any faith in such a moronic approach.

  • Anon

    “When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News.”

    Oh my fucking god, I do so hope the writer meant that ironically.
    But I kinda doubt it.

  • Quote Real Gamer Unquotwe

    Lol, the fucking idiot who wrote this article should be fired.

    “Real gamers”. Like you know fucking anything. Considering how well this game performed, and how incredible of an experience it was, you’d be better off doing shit tier stories for Fox News.

    Go back and play some more call of duty, dipshit.

  • Steven

    “Real” gamers aren’t obsessed with multiplayer. It’s not Call of Duty it’s a story not senseless action.

    It’s by far one of the best games of this generation, it’s set in a time period were racism was rife everywhere, to omit that from history would be stupid.

    This article is hilariously retarded.

    Giant escort mission? Sure, but Elizabeth is the most helpful companion ever she doesn’t get killed and constantly helps you plus plays a vital role in combat.

    Try playing the game before judging it.
    That’s what a “real” gamer would do.

    • Dakan45

      “a story not senseless action.”

      AHAHAH Thats EXACTLY waht it is,action action actio, what are you people retarded? ELIZABETH IS FUCKIGN USELESS, she just pulls guns and and health our of her ass, instaed of that HOW ABOUT carrying those things with you?

      Fucking retards.

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  • 1234

    How do people not get that this is a joke. Wow the internet really doesn’t understand irony. :p It was pretty funny especially the line “I haven’t played bioshock infinite yet because my pirate copy still won’t run.” It’s a parody of all those other fan articles there are written by self entitled idiots. How did anyone get past the line “delaying a game makes it automatically awful” or him saying that bioshock 2 is universally agreed to be better because of it’s multiplayer without realizing that it’s a joke?

  • BrokenH

    C’mon ya’ll, this is satire. lol. I bet this guy was as excited for Infinite as the rest of us.

  • Royadin

    it’s insane how wrong this guy is. lol

  • Crawford Andrew Gordon

    what a shitty article

  • RightousMan

    I agree and disagree with you here. While racism is obviously bad.. its not dead at all. Its on the decline but it is still happening and lets be honest. So long as life is tough and people can make their own choices, there is going to be some sort of prejudice against another group or people or something along those lines. Perhaps I’m wrong, and to be honest I hope I am, but i just don’t see it simply going away entirely and definitely not forever.

    Also just because people in a story are racist doesn’t mean they cant be in the story, or contribute something meaningful to the story. Have you ever watched the movie Crash? It has plenty of racist people in it and people from different walks of life and shows how they see things, great movie. In my opinion their racism makes perfect sense considering the time in which they live and the culture of America at the time of which the disembarked from it. I mean for god’s sake if you need proof of it read a history book about that time in America’s history, or just watch Boardwalk Empire. Or for a different perspective on prejudice, watch the Spartacus Series. Ancient Rome did not care one bit what color your skin was, it was all about where you were from and a host of other things.

    While B infinite had a amazing story ( honestly it would be a awesome movie! ), it actually didn’t use the racism enough in my opinion. They could a gone full hog and made you really, really, really hate the freaking guys in charge of Columbia instead of just loathing them for their way of life and its absurdity. That is one of the game problems. It becomes a meat grinder and murder fest right after showing you this amazingly horrible and pretty place where everyone is happy if your not one of ‘them’. Ad least, that my opinion.

  • Bryon Howley

    Reading though this is clear the author knows nothing at all about gaming or anything else for that matter. BioShock Infinite is a great game on every point and a REAL game would be stupid to miss this game. And if he really has a “pirate copy” he has no business even posting anything about a game that he stole in the first place. The owner of this site should have this removed just for this “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right” line alone.

  • Brandon

    This guy is a fucking idiot. You’re clearly bashing a game you haven’t even tried for the dumbest reasons. A. they didn’t release it fast enough…fuck you B. its a giant escort mission…it absolutely is not. I found myself wishing to have elizabeth at my side in parts of the game where you were without her. C. racism…it takes place in that time period….it adds to the realism and gives you a reason to hate the city in the sky…I’m ashamed for having read this -.-

  • hannoverfisst

    Luke… you’re an idiot. Pretty much every one of your reasons to boycott this game are moronic. Not one of them holds water and reading your article is like reading the rantings of a 10 year old boy who just spent his last quarter and sucked at the game.

    You are obviously not a gamer and if you are, I again refer back to that 10-year old reference and remind you that you basically have no experience with games at all. Grow up a little and stop whining you little bitch.

    • Dakan45

      “like reading the rantings of a 10 year old boy who just spent his last quarter and sucked at the game.”

      are you fucking retarded? the game is shit even a 10 year old could play this shit, how about you fucking cassuals quit gaming, ENOUGH WITH GAMES BECOMING INTERACTIVE MOVIES WITH FILLER MEDIOCRE GAMEPLAY.

  • Rasputin Varez

    this whole site is an onion style joke, right?

    this is like the best gamers, a parody of the mindless x-box 360 is my first console calladoody, right?

    this, a review of a logitech membrane keyboard, an article on metro 2033 being too structures and not action packed enough saying that the book went viral online. this has to be a joke.

    then again, all video game journalists are jokes

  • http://twitter.com/jenova941 Abhijit Asad

    Next time, try playing the game before you decide to be a whiny twat about its supposed shortcomings based on a few trailers. Jeez.

  • Felix

    I honestly don’t think this article is correct. All of these are easily inaccurate.

    1) The delay: Do you honestly feel that self important that you would rather have the company rush to piece together something for you that would undoubtedly be of poorer quality than it is? Or would you rather them take their time and make something of good quality for everyone?

    2) Columbia isn’t Rapture: Wow, because we really need another trip to rapture. We’ve been there twice. There’s not much down there at this point. The little sisters are taken care of. So all there is really left is splicers. Do you really want to just run around killing splicers? How lame would that be?

    3) No multiplayer: I can actually understand how this could be a downer. But look at it this way: what could you really do in mutliplayer in this game? This is a story based game and I find that multiplayer in a story game can kinda screw you up during gameplay.

    4) Escort Mission: WOW, you have obviously never played the game. Because in the game, she takes care of herself AND you. She finds you money and health and can use Tears (openings in time space) to get you useful things. She gets you ammunition and even after a while, fights for herself. Just because you have a woman with you does not mean you have to baby her. This belief is just a little bit sexist if you honestly think a woman on the arm is a bad thing.

    5) Racism: Okay, yes. The citizens of Columbia were racist. BUT NOT YOU. You are clearly given the choice in this game with certain things and the racism factor is one of them. This was set in the 1900s, and in this era, people were pretty racist. But not everyone. In fact, you are rewarded for not being racist. One example is: At the beginning of the game you are forced to either chose to throw something at a couple who consists of one white male and one African female or throw it at the man running the show. I chose to throw it at the man and later on the couple will find you and give you armor as their thanks. So I think this actually reinstates that NOT being racist is a good thing.

    I do not mean to be rude by writing this. But I really think that before you try to make yourself look cool by writing an article on the internet, you should AT LEAST get your facts straight. This article was inaccurate at best and sounds absolutely stupid. Please refrain from jumping the gun and assuming something is bad just because of a few obvious traits.

  • bleh

    You know what? Who the fuck are you to be bitching about a game you apparently know nothing about? Your whole article is riddled with “probablys” and “it sounds likes,” and you even come right out and say that you’ve never even played it! Not to mention, if you’re too much of a pussy to approach this maturely and, perhaps, try to understand the reasons for why they did this instead of blogging your meaningless rant……
    Fuck, this is supposed to be satire?
    Well, thanks for the lawyer practice

  • bleh

    Oh quit being a whiny little bitch

  • Sean

    One of a growing number of rushed-to-print articles. There’s something about the internet as a medium, it appears to encourage shoddy writing and little-to-no editorial process before an article is published. This piece makes general and hasty assumptions about the BS series in order to support its case that BSI is a bad game (it’s a mediocre game with very pretty visuals, imho).

    The part about racism is way off base. Racism is not over, it’s just been transmuted into today’s subversive consumer culture. Go visit a housing project, or go to a prison. Mr. BSI hater, the BS racism is satire, not fluff. It’s no more disturbing than watching a film about the civil war, it’s still totally possible to enjoy the game.

    Most importantly, this article’s title is alienating, as is the implication that “REAL” gamers wouldn’t wait that long for a quality game, that, indeed, a “real” game should be released precisely when it’s slated to be. Does anyone remember a little game called StarCraft II?

  • Doopslayer

    if you pirated it, you obviously want it lol. that line basically made you entire topic irrelevant, because you do want the game, and have probably enjoyed it.

  • hohopig

    And you COMPARE columbia with empire strike back? God are you blind? Or did you have your ass as eyes?

    So unless this is either a piece stinking journalism or it is an attempt at satire gone wrong … either way, it makes no sense and just makes you, the author look like a clueless naked dude at a crossroad.

  • hohopig

    What an utter piece of bullshit. You blame the publisher for delaying and polishing the game instead of producing pile of “annualised” shovelware that stink as much as your article? Get a grip of yourself man .. or perhaps not. Are you a stinking investor masquerading as a game reviewer .. else why on earth will you blame the company for NOT annualizing the IP, while it is the corporate greed of companies like EA and Activision that leads to destructions of many of our beloved games due to their “Annualization” and exploitations of popular game titles.

  • Assassino13

    Ah Satire. How I love thee.

  • Geobaldi

    Are you frigging kidding me?! Lame part-time gamers should be banned from making dumb-assed reviews. The story was awesome, the ending was phenominal, and loved the skyways…. Go back to Mario Brothers kid.

  • NippleKing

    I find it hilarious how the poster of this blog entry talks about how ‘real gamers’ won’t like Bioshock Infinite and then praises Call of Duty for its multiplayer.

    You almost had me there, you silly bastard.

  • Infinite>1/2

    Would you kindly stfu? and go jump off Columbia while you’re at it.

  • Infinite>1/2

    If you think racism is dead then go look at the south and then get back to me. Oh and also Elizabeth is possibly the best female character I have ever seen, Bioshock isn’t meant for multiplayer, they were perfecting it, you shoot the racists (They were in 1 and 2 ya know) and Columbia is better than Rapture. That’s right I said what everyone else was thinking.

    • Infinite>1/2

      Me again, go watch cry plays Bioshock Infinite on youtube and you’ll see what I mean about Liz.

  • fox news blows

    Wow what a a fool, racism…dead? I’m assuming this guy is white and has never had to endure the humiliation of racism, so in his split-pea sized brain it clearly doesn’t exist at all. And… “When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News…” omfg this is the most hypocritical sentence in the history of the universe. I seriously hope all of you mindless white republican inbred bigots die in a fire.

  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.costanza Courtney Costanza

    Hi there. I did enjoy the game even though I waited for ever with it, and I understand why more competitive gamers wouldn’t like it. The real reason I wanted to comment was to give my two cents on the racism issue. I think that if you are playing the game and you take away that it is trying to promote racism then maybe you are missing the point. On my play though it reminded me just how ridiculous it was (like I needed that but still) and how its completely pointless, and just holds back a society. Also something that needs to be remembered what the time the game takes place in 1912 (or so my google search tells me) and during that time racism was very much alive and well, as it is today even if people are better at hiding it….. So maybe instead of taking it at face value the point of it was to disgust you….. But thats just how I saw it.

  • HRX

    I was waiting for the part where it got funny, but that was just… awkward.

  • IceFox

    This post is terrible. Simply terrible. All the reasons listed is what makes Bioshock Infinite so great in the first place! I was fine with a delay since it would mean that they could polish out any sort of bugs that we may have encountered if they released it too early. Who cares if it’s not Rapture? Columbia was never meant to be Rapture. To me, I was completely immersed when we first see the floating city and how simply incredible the visuals were. They were breathtaking to say the least. No multiplayer? Don’t much care for it anyway so i’m glad it wasn’t included. Makes the developers put more time into the storyline of the game. And finally… you complain about the racism? It’s set in, what, 1912? If there wasn’t any racism it wouldn’t be realistic, which only made us feel as if we were in the game even more.

  • leonneel

    what a lame website

  • http://www.facebook.com/saurabh.singhania.96 Saurabh Singhania

    “”I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right””
    YOU SIR DESERVE TO DIE !! AND STARVE TO DEATH….because nobody should pay you a dime as you have zero respect for anybody’s work, You are a filthy pirate and have zero knowledge about anythng you know, read or write … so why should anybody pay you to whatever shit you do in your workplace?? your output is always a garbage….just like this shit writeup

  • Guest

    “”I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right””
    YOU SIR DESERVE TO DIE !! AND STARVE TO DEATH….because nobody should play you a dime as you have zero respect for anybody’s work … so why should anybody pay you to whatever shit you do in your workplace??

  • gamescay

    racism ??

  • James Bailey

    Sucks bro, you’re missing out on a very good game.
    here ill break down your silly article this way
    1. for your delay complaint… well in the wise words of Gabin: “These things, they take time.” and time it did, but the result defiantly pays off.
    2. So? It’s a city in the sky.. it’s not like it’s taking place on earth or anything, the environment is still a representation of fictional human ingenuity.
    3. Umm yeah I’m kind of glad that they don’t have multi player . for starters, if you’re comparing the bioshock 2 multiplayer to cod then well their are a couple elements that you need to address. Secondly it’s bioshock.. Did you see how awful the bioshock 2 multiplayer was? Did you even play it? I’m sure they could have made it a death match kind of thing but I personially think they made the right choice.
    4. Seeing as you haven’t played the game… you should really try it. See the dynamic between the two characters. Might surprise you some
    5. Since this is a touchy subject i’m not going to hinder on it too much. I’m just going to say that valve has offered to give you your money back (if you’re a pc gamer).However if you’re able to “get over” it, then just enjoy that the story that Infinite is trying to tell you! I mean it’s fictional.. and people should accept it as that. Again if you do have a serious stick up your butt about it then well.. Idk get over it.. it’s a game

    If “real” gamers aren’t buying this game because of the reasons you layed out, I’m glad that I don’t fall into that category.. even though I’ve been playing games since the SEGA Genesis.

  • http://www.facebook.com/max.powar.9 Max Powar

    Reading more of this article, yeah, it’s pretty obvious this is a troll article. Maybe even a parody of one, if I’m feeling generous.

    I mean, it’s got lines like this:

    “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right”

    lol, right.

  • http://www.facebook.com/max.powar.9 Max Powar

    Apparently I’m not a ‘real gamer’, then.

    lol @ this article and its delusionally self-important writer.

    He’s either that, or a troll fishing for website hits to his no-name website by putting out a deliberate flame-bait article.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chrill2142 Christian Perry Sørensen

    oh god! you are such an ignorant! real gamers my ass. i consider myself a real gamer, and i bought it and i loved it! by the way, 2k only made bioshock 2, irrational games made the first and infinite. maybe you should research a little more on that pal. second, i personally think that the assassins creed franchise and the call of duty franchise, suck balls! sure, they are some average games, but they are so much alike! they drop a game once a year, but that not cool? they just reuse the gameplay everytime time! sometimes they maybe make some adjustments, but thats that. games like farcry and bioshock are well thought games. they take years to create, and we should give them the time they need. i have played all of the call of duty games, and i enjoyed them. that the same for assassins creed. but they never ever made me feel the same way as bioshock infinite, ever! dont be so narrow minded and call yourself a gamer. thats just wrong.

  • wladek

    Retarded reviewer or bad troll

  • JasperGT

    I hope this is a troll article. If its not this guys sounds completely retarded.

  • liam

    the guy is just having a hissy fit, you can still be a real gamer if you buy the game.if you seriously think that cod is the best series THEN you are not.

  • SuchBadWritingISigndedUp

    Genuinely some of the worst, most childish writing I have read for a long time. I really hope you didn’t get paid for this.

  • jesse nonnahs

    You clearly have some biase going on / know nothing about video games in general

    “delaying a game too long makes it automatically awful”.
    so you want the developers to release an unpolished piece of crap that you have to buy 3-5 DLCs before you even have the full original game idea?*coughcoughEAcough* or would you rather them put the time and effort in to make sure you get the full game and that its worth playing. 9 times out of ten its either the developer nothing having the money to go on, or their publisher telling them to do something different

    “Columbia isn’t Rapture
    this is bioshock, not raptureshock. the devs said early on that the game will take place in a new setting of the BIOSHOCK UNIVERSE.
    not playing a game because its in a different setting is just plain stupid

    Racism

    go read up on your colonial american history, racism was a part of the time that they are trying to potrey in the game

  • Jacob

    How is this an article? You are accusing a game clearly for trying to be inventive and try new things, with an amazing art style and gameplay. Bioshock 2 is one of my favourite games, but I wouldn’t want to go back to rapture. I know when a place has run it’s course, but you are just a pissed off biased prick who hadn’t even played this game. I don’t know if you are a troll, or uneducated, but you don’t take up the total gaming population you prat.

  • norma stits

    racism is dead? what fantasy world are you living in? Here in the real world it’s very much alive.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aaron.harcourtrowe Aaron Harcourt-Rowe

    I have my problems with this game. I preferred Bioshock 1 far more. You know what, though? Bioshock Infinite is not bad at all. Your gripes are petty and unfounded. Seriously, this is why bitching about a game before playing said game is a horrible way to do your journalism. It’s not an “escort mission”, Elizabeth takes no damage, stays well out of the way, and does nothing but toss helpful items your way. As far as escort missions are concerned, I’d say Bioshock 2 is the bigger culprit, since you constantly have to lug little sisters around if you want the good ending. The racism is part of what feeds the main storyline, you sympathize with the oppressed to a point. It’s not as good as the first one as far as it’s creepiness is concerned, but after seeing how botched the story on BS 2 was, I’m glad they changed paces. You are the kind of person who is only interested in what they already know, and probably own every COD game out to date. Seriously, try something new every once in a while. Hell, maybe you’d be more credible that way.

  • Dan

    Can’t tell if trolling

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.w.yin Richard Waldo Yin

    Uh, it was suppose to represent early 1900s America, which in fact was RACIST. The developer also did hesitate on changing to Columbia. In my opinion they did a good job. The story was mind blowing and it doesn’t matter how long you wait, it matter if it was worth it. There are going to be add-ons put on it and so far they got a great line up for improvement. If you haven’t played the game, then I definitely recommend you do. I beat the game on hard and 1999 mode and it was very enjoyable. Nor do I remember Elizabeth ever getting in the way, because she was programmed to take cover and be out of your sight during battles. This was the worst complaint I’ve ever seen. Multiplayer is one thing I would agree upon, but every thing else, you need to play the game in order to make you argument.

    I still got a kick out of racism; You need to understand that they don’t support it what so ever. By having it in this dystopia it shows how America would have looked like without intervention. I can’t help but emphasize the argument of this article is a lost cause the second you stated “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right…”

  • http://www.facebook.com/josh.b.jacobs Josh Jacobs

    I am too angry to say anything, so I’ll just say this. Author, you are an idiot and every point you made is stupid, baseless and just embarrassing. Go back to Call of Duty, you idiot. I played the game and every single “point” you made is baseless.

  • Ben Shako

    “Especially in video games, a hobby that’s supposed to be fun 100% of the time. We signed up to kill faceless foes, not watch an introspective soapbox preaching Ken Levine’s views on nonexistent societal issues.” There are so many problems with this that I’m still coming up with new ones as I right this. First, Video games are not intended to be fun 100% of the time. That is the reason this industry is still defined as the mass majority of people who don’t commonly play games as toy makers. Look at games such as spec ops, The line. That game, at least for me, was not fun. It was very engaging and I liked the game but it was not fun. Games are becoming a mass media like movies and music as well as becoming an art form. If the out side world sees people in the gaming culture writing stuff like this then what defence do we have when people way something is too serious for games. If movies were all about fun then where would they be? No where that was a rhetorical question. The second and 3rd things I find wrong here tie in to each other. Racism, as strange as it may sound to someone who clearly has never read non Eurocentric news. Hell slavery still exists and there are still f***ing natzies out there trying to create a master race. It might be dead in the small world you have seen but to be truthful it is not even dead in the united states. It may be dead in government but not in peoples minds. I’m sure you didn’t know this but the KKK still is around and active. This leading in to my final point. Iv a mass media could not address points such as racism with out idiots like you who are “gamers” getting angry about it then what hope do we have of being taken seriously by people who do not play games. There is so much more about this that is idiotic but I think I got my point across.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this,
    Ben

  • Kei

    >.< Wow your ignorant and biased?

    Point 1: Delay?
    -Delaying a game makes it automatically awful? Take a look at game releases and
    you'll notice an interesting trend ,a large number of games have had their initial
    release delayed by months and years. Guess what none of them ended up
    anything like the failure that The new Duke was.

    Point 2: Columbia isn't Rapture?
    – Stop living in the past and move on. Imagine if COD refused to move on and
    stuck to WW1 ,we wouldn't have the awesome singleplayer that was COD4
    onwards ,or if FF decided to merely stick to their FF1 formula ,you think we
    would have had the awesome steam-punk setting that was FFVII.

    Point 3: No Multiplayer?
    -Bio-shock 2 better than bio-shock 1 because it had multiplayer. You crazy?
    Almost never have i heard anyone praise the multiplayer of Bioshock 2 over
    its single player ,the multiplayer experience was forgetable. The reason 2
    was better than 1 is because the gameplay was improved and revamped.

    Point 4: Giant Escort Mission
    -stop moaning till you test it out

    Point 5: Rasicm
    -ITS A GAME! Your sounding like one of those dumb idiots that wanted to Ban Resident evil 5 because the zombies were black. Would you prefer if all the
    enemies were alien or wait is that racist to? maybe all the enemies plants ,oh
    wait are you vegetarian aswell?

    Nuff Said!

  • http://www.bloodygoodgames.com/ Bloody Good Games

    And yet here I am, a ‘real gamer’, and I just bought a copy. Shocker :)

  • Houston

    This article is a joke right?

  • björn b

    here’s a tip, try playing the game.
    delay = good, if a game isnt finished, its should not be released.
    columbia is beautiful, and the way to move around = genious.
    racism is a part of the social commentary.
    and really, escord mission? thats where one really notices u havent played the game. elisabeth is nothing groundbreaking, but she is never a burden, quite the opposite actually as she gives u ammo and stuff.

    its not the best that ive played, but its damn good and if someone thinks otherwise its okay, as long as they have actually played it.

  • Nate

    Wow this couldn’t be more wrong, On some parts. While yes it has racism, and the fights get some what repetitive at times. The Story was wonderful, the gameplay outstanding. Giant Escort Mission? yeah she is escorting you, I don’t know how many times she saved my butt from dying, but she never once got in the way. No Multiplayer? so? Why does every shooter have to have this to make it great? Don’t get so caught up on the small things, and Play this game, its well worth it.

  • Sombooody

    The game is MEANT to be racist. Columbia is a racist place. Stupid author -.-

  • Ananthu

    “When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News”
    I do hope that was a joke.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matthew.blow.5 Matthew Blow

    Yes it is satire, but I have read reviews that sound exactly like this and aren’t satire and that makes me sad.
    And to the people on their high horse who knew it was satire and insult others who didn’t realise, please get down, you are just being annoying.

  • Y R A WANNABE GAMER

    maybe the ‘real gamers’ that he were referring to were those who play Farmville

  • DaSwedishGamer

    I havent played this game but it sucks. Its not underwater… Its racist… The worlds worst girl in gaming gives me money ammo and salts but she sucks… This review ina nutshell. I mean, really? You just stated you commited a crime and you base all the points on things you’ve read/seen not the things you’ve experienced? Really? It’s not in Rapture because they felt they could do things with Columbia. Not just use the same place over and over again! Please, give me a reason to WHY this has ANY valid points WHATSOEVER.

    • Spherix

      Because it’s satire, and you missed it. It’s even tagged satire, in case you couldn’t catch it just from reading the text.

      I mean, Poe’s law and everything, but the first paragraph alone is so over-the-top that it should have raised a mental flag.

  • http://www.facebook.com/PieAll Chris Pie All

    Not to mention Bioshock 2 was made by a completely different company and who cares if it has multiplayer? It’s not what you’re buying the game for, you’re buying it to play single player. I have liked all the bioshocks and I think one should try the game before making a decision for themselves.

  • http://www.facebook.com/PieAll Chris Pie All

    So he hasn’t actually played the game, it’s not an escort mission you tool. She just allows for you to warp in objects at certain points in the game and she tosses you ammo and small amounts of coin. How about actually playing the game before giving an opinion?

  • Eric The Viking

    So I get to kill niggers, spicks & kikes? Cool! There just hasn’t been enough good ol’ racism in video games imho! Please tell me there’s some faggot bashing in Infinite too and please, oh please let me stab a bunch of christians & muslims as well – now that would really make my day!!! Hail Satan!!!

    • WTF

      Notice how he posted anonymously …if only I knew his facebook :D

      • visiblewind

        you wouldn’t do shit and you know it

    • Crawford Andrew Gordon

      die

    • Suzanne Mortenson

      Although Eric’s comment was a little absurd, I’m pretty sure he’s being COMPLETELY satiric and sarcastic, guys.

    • ???

      You forgot jews. Or maybe they’re not as important?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Ihmissusi13 Þeo Hood

    I really hope this was a giant troll post, because these points were stupid and not thought out in the slightest. I felt like I was reading a 12 year old complain about this game

  • Lol

    The person writing this article needs to contract cancer and die slowly.
    Because he is a failbox-wanking fratboy retard who jerks off violently over multiplayer and uses it as a major point of his worthless argument.
    Idiots like that are why the industry is dumbing down our games and shoving WORTHLESS multiplayer in everywhere.
    So dear dumbshit, please die. Slowly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mitch.allen.7731 Mitch Allen

    OMG, guys, This whole damn article is sarcasm. That should have been picked up on in the first paragraph. The game hadn’t even come out yet when this was written. Also, you clearly posted before you read the whole thing because if “When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News.” didn’t raise the red sarcasm flag, you have an IQ of 60.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eduardvictor Eduard Victor Toma

    This article is written by a troll and nothing in it is true, that being said, fuck you, Luke.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pgroshart Peyton Groshart

    If you ask me this entire article is complete idiocy first off Bioshock Infinite wasn’t delayed for 12 years like duke nukem and columbia is a great take on the times that this game takes place where people were beginning to look to the skies! Multiplayer? They aren’t selling it as a mutiplayer game so judging it off that is complete bullocks also bioshock 2 and infinite have different creators. The entire game is an escort mission…of course it is that’s the story line but unlike other games you’re not really escorting anyone since Elizabeth helps you instead of dragging you down and last of which the racism is part of the time that Columbia took place in I mean people were treated that way back in 1912 not having racism in the game would be like not having Nazi’s in a World War 2 game because it might “offend” people i found this entire article to be completely useless as a source on whether or not to buy this game whether you’re a casual gamer or hardcore gamer

  • http://twitter.com/FrewieJJ Robbie Johnston

    They screwed up by not adding multiplayer? Who gave a fuck about the multiplayer?!

  • Rhubarb

    So… you wrote an article about a game you barely know anything about. I’m sorry that is just bad practice. Your points aren’t even that good. All I hear is, “waaaaah, I just want to play the same game over and over again! Why did you change anything?” Troll post.

  • Cyn

    Obivous troll is obvious, yet I shall still make a point ;)

    First… Racism? Seriously..? This game isn’t racist, its accurate for it time period. Its not like 2K plastered signs around the game that say ‘black people are bad.’ Considering the game is based in 1912, racism was a common sight. The developers just made the game accurate for it’s time period it was set it.

    About it not being Rapture, what more would there be to do in Rapture? Andrew Ryan is dead, you stepped into the shoes of a ‘Big Daddy’… What would be next? Life as a mindless splicer?Lets see… Plot point… Kill… Kill again… Kill kill kill… OH LOOK! Some adam! Kill again…

    The last thing I’ll touch on is the multiplayer arguement. Multiplayer in a FPS is fun (if its done right), yes, but it isn’t what makes Bioshock. Bioshock is far more focused on story, not mutiplayer. As a fan of all 3 Bioshock games, I can say that I enjoy the stories of each game to a much greater extent than the multiplayer. Why? Its more interesting. If you want a multiplayer FPS, just go play COD, considering all that Treyarch and Activision are good for is making multiplayer their whore for the community’s enjoyment.

    Also, please refer to the image for my reaction when I read the title.

  • Troll

    Spoil Alert!!!

    Elizabeth is Booker’s daughter and Elizabeth at the end kills Booker and they don’t go to paris

  • That one guy

    don’t read this if you don’t want the game spoiled!

    it isn’t rapture because at the end they go to rapture but only for about 1 minute or so.

  • Pingback: Video Game Reviews, News, and Opinions – Gamers Association Alyx Vance vs Elizabeth Comstock

  • Bryan

    “When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News.” Because of this statement, everything that you compose will be an utter joke to me.

  • Dennis

    Who the fuck wrote this article? Did you see a TV commercial and base your entire critique on a 2 minute trailer? IT IS SKY CITY DAT GAY. ALSO NO MULTIPLAYER FOR ME TO PWN NOOBS. BIOSHOCK 2 GOOD COS MULTIPLAYER AND NO FAG GIRL TO ESCORT. You’re a hack of a writer and your boss should break your fingers so you’re unable to write another shameful “review” like this again. Also I hate you.

  • jami

    Well since you haven’t played it I just wanted to say that Elizabeth was the best AI I have ever seen not only does she find you money but during battles she find you ammo which you can easily catch with just a hit of a button

  • lewis

    wow, i dont normally get annoyed by things that i see on the web, but this article is straight up horse shit, REAL gamers dont pirate games for starters fuck nob, and no this isnt going to be rapture, it isnt a damn trilogy its a stand alone game, its nice and refreshing, if you wanna play the same shit again and again and again then yes stick to assassins creed as all that is is the first game recycled and made to look pretty, the girl that yes does follow you about is intrinsic to the story and frankly makes it and if you had played it through you might know that, now i am a real gamer which is why i know for a damn fact that a prequel would have ruined it, like halo reach, like gears judgement, and so forth, so go crawl back in your hole, and leave gaming to those who know what they are talking about as you clearly dont, or die in a house fire, one of the two please, i hope everyone else can see just how wrong this retard is.

  • Han

    “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right, but I heard this new world is pretty racist”

    Wow. So not only is this entire article based off of “what you heard,” but you’re too cheap to actually go buy the game and support the industry you supposedly “support?” Moreover, you’re the Editor of this site? The fact that you currently have 35 Tweets and 272 Facebook Likes is an abomination. You’re an embarrassment to games journalism, pure and simple.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.rubio.18 Daniel Rubio

    This guy doesn’t know what he is talking about. I am glad that Bioshock Infinite doesn’t have multiplayer. They are smart to mainly focus on the campaign. About the racism in the game. Think about the time 1912. Of course there was a lot of racism in during the time. You need to stop trolling and go read a history book. I give Ken Levine and the team respect for making the theme accurate to 1912. They did good research. Sure I was mad when I heard the game was delayed but it is still a very good game. I don’t know why I read this garbage.

  • Fluffy

    Hope police read your message too, better evidence for pirate copy at home is no more possible.

  • Michell Vall

    are you for real?
    and I hope that Fox news bit was a joke

  • Pingback: Video Game Reviews, News, and Opinions – Gamers Association BioShock Infinite & Feeling Cheated by Pre-Order Incentives - Video Game Reviews, News, and Opinions - Gamers Association

  • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.dillingham.5 Kyle Dillingham

    Wow, making a bashing article about a game you haven’t played yet. Not just that, but you come across as an entitled brat. What have you done in your life to deserve 300 people to spend 2-3 years of their lives and close to 100 MILLION dollars to please you?

    1. I don’t care if a game is delayed. I would FAR rather a game be delayed so it can be made to the best caliber possible. I do not want it to be annual. You must not understand the costs and labor associated with making a huge AAA title.

    2. If you enjoy rapture so much …play the original games. Games change, grow, and evolve. That means new characters, new plots, new settings. It’s like wanting all elder scrolls games to be set in morrowind.

    3. Multplayer forces a company to take away from the narrative it truly wants to tell so they can cram in a feature that they will have little hope of having a competitive edge in. Dedicated FPS’s: halo, battlefield, CoD, those games make sense for multiplayer.

    4. WOW, sexism much? Make her a guy? To fit into a “guy game”? And what wimpy girl are you talking about? You mean the mage character? The one wielding badass magic? We ALL didn’t hate Ico. Apparently you can’t understand any other genre than ACTION EXPLOSIONS!

    5. You clearly do not understand the concept of satire. The company is making a subtle point. They’re making us explore concepts that might be foreign to us or questionable. These actions help us to define how we truly feel about said concepts.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.dillingham.5 Kyle Dillingham

      Ahhhh, so this is supposed to be satire eh? lol, you TOTALLY should have waited a few days until April fool’s.

      I’m not ganna lie. I was a little upset, lol.

  • Gerar Bas

    Let me traduce the post: -Crying like a baby- Aaaaah :( I wanted a Bioshock 3!!! I wanted the same thing with another look! i don’t like changes! i want to stay in rapture!! don’t like air!!! I am a fish :3

  • Gerar Bas

    It’s simple, you don’t have any idea what you are saying. Trust me, it’s not a simple Bioshock sequel, it’s a story, with start and end, with emotion, with characters with a complex story behind them, with all those stuff that makes you play the game over and over again, possibility of return to some specific areas to rediscover hidden things. “With Life”. I played lot of games, I spent my time playing multiplayer games. yes, its fun, yeah it’s really fun. But call me mad if I prefer to feel this “Boom” in my heart with Half Life (all of them) -oh sorry, their MP games are… secundary- or in this case: Bioshock Infinite. Trust me, you don’t know Anything about good games if you say “If it hasn’t got MP it doesn’t deserve to be bought”. Feel the story, child. don’t be dumb.

  • Guest

    The Delay: Delays happen, deal with it.
    Colombia isn’t Rapture: Not having played the game, I don’t know how they tie together, or if they do. And it sounds like you don’t either, and refuse to find out.
    No Multiplayer: This is a plus for me and several other long time games I know. No Multiplayer means more attention to the game, which in turn means it’ll be better off than if it had it.
    Giant Escort Mission: I normally hate escort missions, so I don’t completely disagree. But step off Ico, I love that game and so do many many other people.
    Racism: I hate racism as much as the next person, but I am willing to over look it if it is for story or setting purposes. Since Infinite is suppose to take play in what the 40’s, Racism would obviously play a role in the world itself making it a little more real and believable.

    All and All, maybe you shouldn’t assume what “real” gamers will like. I’ve been playing games a long time, and your opinion doesn’t hold water to the ideas of myself or other gamers I know.

  • http://ireofpurgatory.com/ Michaela “Mike” Buckley

    You’d think that those without a sense of humour would at least have seen that this is tagged in Satire.

  • Dan

    I thought this person might be serious then i got to the part that read that bioshock 2 was better and realized it was a troll post.

  • Derby Editor

    Just because you enjoy comedy doesn’t mean you can DO comedy. There’s a reason Onion News is so good; it’s all about delivery within context.

    Your spelling & grammar are fine, but your story arrangment and/or satirical portrayal falls way short. It comes off as some ignorant blogger rant, versus a professional editorial satire.

    Practice will help your craft overall, but don’t let that suggest you can write this type of piece; especially when majority of the readers miss the point. In your defense, some of these readers are about as sharp as a spoon, but you still hold a large chunk of responsibility.

    Happy writing

    • Graham Burns

      Well Luke, it appears you have not impressed the Derby Editor. Therefore none of us are impressed. How DARE you think you can write such a article!!!!! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!

  • Luke Frazier’s Mom

    well even i am here, so i think this site wants some attention to get more commercial and make some money. Writer could not even read the game. Probably born at 1995 and his first game was who knowsn what? My boy please write about Angry Birds. BioShock is out of your league. You dont have such a level to write a critic about this game.

    I am shame of my boy. Sorry guys.

  • B~DoN

    I guess anyone can write things on the internet these days. This is probably one the most worthless articles I have ever read….. by the way, Bioshock 2 universally accepted as the better of the two originals??

  • TokingMonkey

    My god…this may be the worst review I’ve ever read.

  • Charlie

    Ya.. this is clearly satire guys haha.

  • theGekkoState

    I’m not a the biggest BioShock fan out there as I though the first one was unique, but nothing more. However the second one didn’t appeal to me at all.

    With that said I have to disagree with EVERYTHING you just said. Mainly the part about BioShock 2 being “universally believed to be the better of the past two games”. I don’t know anyone other than you that has said that; form ordinary people to game reviews. The delay didn’t seem like that long, and Columbia looks like way more fun than rapture.

  • http://www.facebook.com/carpenterforeman Carpenter Foreman

    This is absolutely ridiculous. Not only the concept of, “real gamers”. Because there isn’t enough real shit in the world for us to ACTUALLY care about, we have to become boggled down by menial, trivial crap like, who is a real gamer and who isn’t. In addition to that, who the hell decides who is and isn’t a real gamer.

    As for Bioshock. Who cares about the delay. Do you really care? I don’t, I have a life, I’m not sitting around with my dick in my hand waiting for a game to come out.

    No, Columbia isn’t Rapture. It was explained why in the game. Also, everybody knows Columbia isn’t Rapture, why even make it a point? Regardless, Rapture was the city from the first two games. While it had an incredible amount of character and ambience that allowed for deeper and more fulfilling immersion, it’s been done. To death. No more claustrophobic Rapture thank you very much, I’ve seen enough.

    No multiplayer, have you played Bioshock’s multiplayer? Bioshock 2’s multiplayer was “meh”. I never really got on board. Regardless again, I have a life, I don’t really care whether or not a game has multiplayer.

    Giant escort mission? The girl takes care of herself, she also provides a huge amount of combat mechanics and dynamics. Not only that, but she’s part of the experience, the immersion that I’m sure is a huge part of why you have such a hard on for Rapture. So which is it? Are you a hypocrite or just an idiot? ‘Cause if you were neither, your thought process would have been explained in a much more objective manner.

    As for the racism, I’m sorry, but are we supposed to stick our heads in the dirt and just ignore that racism ever existed? Does it make you uncomfortable? Why? I believe, and I’m sure any reasonable, logical and intelligent person would agree with me, that the racist elements are not only true to the times but are representative of the general mentality of the upper class. Look at Django, that won an Oscar and it was racist as hell. Just because Bioshock is a video game it doesn’t have a right to the same artistic integrity?

    You’re a fool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jaire-Vaughn/100000156412273 Ja’ire Vaughn

    I give you a 7/10 for making me slightly mad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Dou/509974612 David Dou

    Oh wait nevermind I just read the article properly. He hasnt played the game. Never mind.

  • james

    what a fucking nigger, holy shit. who fucks up a pirated copy of a game first off, the period of time had racism in it (just like django, and people bitched about that), and multiplayer? cod is successful because people like paying to play the exact same thing over and over.. bioshock and many other sp games shouldn’t have ever had multiplayer (assassins creed).

    fuck yourself pleb

    also, if you’re “lel, i was only pretending to be retard”, kill yourself you faggot.

  • Bradski

    how old is the reviewer? Absolutely puerile.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Troy-Adamson/100002374947973 Troy Adamson

    I find it funny as hell how many readers are taking this article seriously. Even the title, “Why Real Gamers Won’t Be Buying Bioshock Infinite”, screams satire and sarcasm. Anyone who knows their ass from a hole in the wall knows Infinite is epic.

  • Breeezy

    YO FAGGOT, YOU HAVENT EVEN PLAYED THE GAME AND YOUR JUDGING IT, THE AI IS PERFECT, GO FUCK YOURSELF PIECE OF SHIT FAGGOT, GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR TIME.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chrisdaurora Chris D’Aurora

    How is this guy allowed to have an opinion on the internet?

  • Axe99

    Dear oh dear oh me – requiring multiplayer for a game to be considered a real game – how old are you? How parochial? Have you played anything beyond arcade shooters? I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy what you like, but assuming that everyone else only enjoys that kind of stuff is so incredibly narrow-minded. Bioshock Infinite is excellent – it may not be your thing, but just because it’s not your thing, doesn’t make it bad.

    Other reasons, such as the delay and that ‘Columbia isn’t rapture’ are ridiculous – no real gamer would worry about them or multiplayer (in fact, experienced gamers generally prefer games to be delayed, polished and finished, rather than rushed out half-done like your average Bethesda release).

    And then there’s your point on racism (which isn’t dead – far from it) – given the game is set in 1912, is it not appropriate to reflect some of the issues of the day? Might have been a little over the head of your average (not all, just your average ;)) CoD player, but back in 1912 racism was far more prevalent than it was these days.

  • GaF

    I am truly embarrassed by most of the comments on this story. Clearly the article is a joke and the author actually likes the game. No wonder games get a bad wrap if this is the intelligence level of some of the gaming community. I am not just talking about missing the satirical nature of the article but about the number of poorly worded, angry responses. Any comment that uses profanity, the word retard and doesn’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ should be auto-deleted as clear evidence of idiocy.

  • http://twitter.com/LukeAFrazier Luke Frazier

    Figured the number of obvious falsehoods (Ascension & Judgment being the best, BioShock 2 being better, Ico being hated, etc.) and links to other content directly refuting the text would make the sarcastic joke apparent enough. I miscalculated.

    • Zach

      I laughed a couple times, no worries. Most people take this stuff way too seriously though.

      • Nick Cane

        People take video games seriously? Haha. Glad to see some grasped the concept.

    • Spherix

      10/10. Obvious in every way, and yet still managed to hook a bunch of people.

      Or gaming really is in that bad of shape, when the people smart enough to disagree with the article aren’t smart enough to spot the satire. Makes me wonder how many people actually agreed with it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elias-Sideras/581859020 Elias Sideras

    I hope this is satire, pretty bad at that tbh.

  • mdr1505

    To anyone who read this article quickly and is initially very angry with it, please calm down for a little bit, then come back and read it again in a better mood to realize it is actually hilarious. There is no way these are serious complaints. At worst it’s flame bait written by an author who likes to see people get angry, at best a clever satire on annoying gaming trends that actually praises Infinite for avoiding them. Seriously, it calls Bioshock 2 superior to the original, praises Ascension and Judgement as the best in their respective series, speaks positively of annual releases in game series, and comdemns Ico just while complimenting Army of Two. This is clearly a joke, one which actually points out a lot of flaws in games today adn how Infinite dodges them, lighten up people

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Randell-Graybill/100000278259984 Randell Graybill

    You are a moron sir. Multiplayer is exactly why I don’t play Call of Duty. Real gamers don’t play call of Duty. The gamers that play CoD are the ones that play because it is the hip / popular thing to do.

  • Sam

    I would not want this guy having any say in making gaming decisions. What a closed minded moron.

  • Truthbot

    There’s no way this isn’t a troll article. Everyone just calm the fuck down.

  • http://twitter.com/gagecloutier Gage Cloutier

    This is arguably the worst article I have ever read.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elias-Sideras/581859020 Elias Sideras

      Considering alot of people didn’t realize it’s satire (including me), then yes pretty bad. I mean, is that what we are going to be looking for now?

  • cusman

    Who let Luke Frazier out of the kitchen? He should be in there making those damn fruit cakes for his bats.

  • MXL Gamer

    i think you are not a real gamer……. a real gamer plays everything….. even if it sucks…just for fun……..i already finished bioshock infinite and let me tell you i REALLY enjoyed the game…..and Bioshock 2 isnt better than the first bioshock

  • Titanium

    Gamers dissapoint me, this was funny and you are fighting over it? oh plz…

  • ariessiren

    This has to be the worst article i have ever seen. Everyone loved Ico its highly rated. He didn’t even play the game he stated he pirated it. come on guys don’t support this crapsite. Enough is enough. This kid has zero taste.

  • http://twitter.com/miglioman vincenzo di martino

    you are a really idiot. problably you haven’t played the game, as i can see in what you wrote in the point “Giant Escort Mission”. please shut up.

  • James Clark

    Such a troll article. Luckily, I am also a troll. Well done website :’)

  • Daniel

    This guy produces an enormous amount of shit, what an idiot…

  • http://twitter.com/T0NSTER333 ÇℜΔÇK_ℵΙℵℑΔΔ

    is this an april fools joke or something? Trilogies are awesome????Bioshock 2 is better than 1????…. Are you freakin serious? If you aren’t a troll, you are the worst gamer of all time and obviously don’t know much. If you are a troll, how did you manage to get this blatantly bs article posted????

  • rimedur

    lol so this guy is basically complaining that bioshock infinite isnt call of duty and that a developer who takes there time to make a game is bad and should rush thorugh it to put it out anually

  • Laurence Smith

    I’ve read some bad articles in my time but this takes the cake! lol I’m not even mad just laughing silently….

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryana.strauss Ryan Strauss

    dude..just stop..please you’re opinion isn’t valid seeing how multiplier wasn’t a must(not that it is now just from a studio stand point) 10-15 years ago and games have been around for how long?…

  • Ian

    This was an awful attempt at satire to troll bait in the fans for hits. I’ll admit, I fell for it but god damn.

  • still_tippin808

    Real gamers don’t pirate games!!

  • MyCousinAvi

    “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet”

    You should have just opened with that so everyone could have saved 5 minutes.

    This is what’s wrong with these websites. They get these morons to throw up a random “Bash it while it’s hot” article and grab some extra attention with the “real gamers” tag in the title.

    Dude, real gamers are open to new experiences and embrace it.

    Delays are a reality, it happens. I’d rather someone take a while to give it more polish than release an unfinished product… I’m looking at you Gearbox.

    Are you gonna complain when GTAV comes out ?
    No, you’re gonna tuck your tail between your legs and give it a 10 out of 10 and forget allllll about the delay.

    “God of War: Ascension and Gears of War: Judgement recently showed us all that prequels are the hands-down most intriguing and engaging entries in a series”

    These games are great but anyone will agree the previous instalments of both series were better.

    No Multiplayer ? I’m gonna say it’s not a problem unless the game is under 10 hours or so.

    Giant escort mission ? Why not see it as having a side kick… After all she does aid you in battle by throwing you ammo among other things.

    The Last of Us will be similar in terms of always having someone by your side… But why is that a bad thing ? It just shows how obsessed with detail the creators were to CONSTANTLY have an AI character beside you and always amaze the player with how that character interacts with the world and YOU as the player.

    And I’m sorry, but if you’re around people, and talking to people that think Bioshock 2 is better than 1… You might want to make some new friends.

  • Morgan

    This is easily the dumbest article I’ve ever read. You claim that “real gamers” won’t buy this game because of delays and a lack of multiplayer? The first game didn’t have multiplayer, and as you said, it’s one of the highest rated FPS to date. It was delayed to give us a more polished product. You would be saying the exact same thing if it had come out a year ago and would have been filled with bugs. At least they took the time to quality control their product. Now, would you kindly stop making ridiculous claims?

  • driskal

    The author of this article clearly knows nothing about gaming and soley wants hits for this crappy site. Give your head a shake pal. BSI is an amazing game, Im sorry you wont have the chance to play and see for yourself

  • Blah

    IMHO a good satirical piece should have a light touch of sarcasm and subtle humor. It’s a delicate thing like performing a surgery with a scalpel. You just power-drilled that shit.

  • Mdubs

    I respect you coming and fighting the mass glorification of this game, but your points are weak at best. No multiplayer? Who cares? Half of the best games I’ve played in the last year came with multiplayer I didn’t touch because it’s all half cooked (far cry 3, tomb raider.) Bioshock 2 being regarded as the better of the two games? Are you high? Racism, as a reason not to play it? That is part of what makes Columbia so interesting.

    Your facts are weak, and this article is dumb. But still, props for coming out and fighting the trends.

  • Vigilante225

    Please tell me this a joke, or that you’re just a troll, or SOMETHING because this is horrible to read. Your reasons for gamers not to buy this game are terrible. The Delay? I’d rather have a good, well rounded game that takes years to make than a half finished mess. Columbia isn’t Rapture? Good! Rapture was great, but we needed a new setting, but i guess you like reusing the same shitty ideas just like COD. No Multiplayer? Fair enough gripe, but Bioshock/System Shock games have ALWAYS been about the story, rather than some tacked on multiplayer. A Giant Escort Mission? Really? Elizabeth can look after herself, and if anything she escorts YOU by giving you items along the journey. And finally, the racism. Racism is bad, we all know that, but pretending it doesn’t exist, or never did, is foolish. This game doesn’t promote racism, it highlights it and shows the world how stupid racism really is. But you know what the worst part is? You haven’t played the game, AND you’ve apparantely tried to pirate it. That, ladies and gentleman, is why this writer is a bloody fool, and a morally ambigious person as well. But, something good has come out of this article, the fact that the game has universally done incredibly well through sales and reviews allows me to laugh in your face, Luke Frazier. Ha, ha, HA! :D

    P.S: Little advice, but you should probably play a game before judging it, or maybe that would be too much hard work for a “real gamer”

  • http://twitter.com/GreenMistt Miller

    This is a very poor attempt at satire. It’s laughable that the author thought this would actually be considered satire.

  • T2X

    I really think this person is over reacting. And imo, wrong on most accounts. If something is late its, “automatically awful?”. Duke Nukem sucked, period. This is nothing at all like that ridiculous 10 year wait for a horrible crap game. No MP. The writer has to be foolish to actually believe that. Have you been listening to the part of the gaming population that has been saying you DON’T have to add MP to be a good game? The girl? Her character has been widely regarded as a good character by the people who’ve played it. And finally racism. You know, we have a black president. I really think it’s about time certain parts of society get over themselves already, nobody wants to hear the crying anymore, especially regarding a game, what about Django unchained for that matter? Oh, well. Differing opinions aside, if you’re that offended, don’t play it. I will and I’ll enjoy it for what it is. A game.

  • http://twitter.com/Orionsaint Orionsaint

    I beat the game and It’s very polished and refined. The attention to detail and artistic design is no less than stunning. The hard work and delay made all that possible. Comparing it to Duke Pukeum? Wow, you really lowered the bar on that one lol!

    I love Bioshock, but I’m not a big fan of creepy depressing locations in games. I actually prefer Infinite’s out door locations WITH bright beautiful colors.

    Bioshock 2 is not the better game nor do most Bioshock fans believe that, lol! You’re funny. The first Bioshock is a classic with a twist that no one saw coming. It’s still talked about to this day. Bioshock 2 was basically trying to redo Bioshock. It’s a good game, but had the feeling of been there down that. So don’t just write things as if they’re true. When they’re obviously not true. As for Multiplayer. It sucked in Bioshock 2. Why would we want Multiplayer?

    The Racism isn’t there for the sake of being racist. It has context within the story of the game. It’s true to that era. Wait, are you implying a racist multiplayer with racist whites vs blacks? You are sick in the head.

    If you had actually played the game. You’d know that Elizabeth is hardly a “wimpy girl” In fact she’s very brave and never needs your help. She actually helps you by throwing you ammo, health and vigors. She never gets annoying and you never have to hold her hand. She’s always out of your way. Yeah, there’s no escort missions. Is this article for real? Haha!

  • Joshwaa

    This guy has no fucking idea what he’s talking about…dumbass

  • Snooche

    I know u r write!! I I love cod cuz days for real gamers that know all about good games…. If I had a choice all games would be like cod cuz its perfect with original story lines and unique gamplry that’s so good to play and to own noobs….. My mom says I’m so smart and if she’s says that that means I know what I am talking about….. If no multiplayer like cod then top score should be 1 out of 10 cuz u can kill noobs

  • http://twitter.com/thenordicgod Kamallraj Asoka

    this is the dumbest article I’ve read in a long Looong time

  • Ian Kaleta

    Luke you have no idea what your talking about. How about you play the game first before you judge it and spread your disinformation. Also, why are you promoting piracy?

  • postthatsh*t

    There is racism in mature movies sometimes for the portrayal of comedy or a sense of realism. Also, first person shooter games dont need multiplayer to be absolutely amazing. My point would be Metroid Prime. Actually all three of those games are masterful, but the inclusion of multiplayer in the later entries of the serious was more of a step back that one forward. I would rather a developer leave multiplayer and and keep the game unique than to slap it together. That would delay the game even worse. I think those were the only two valid points you had. The other three are somewhat childish. Oh no the gameplay is different than the one before it? What a derpy travesty! I mean I would really be surprised if this article actually swayed someone to no buy the game, instead of people being able to judge for themselves from a more comprehensive source.

  • Toyashi

    BioShock 2 is universally believed to be the better of the past two games, superior to the original for one solid reason: multiplayer.

    This is just a “satirical” article. There is no need to get worked up about something as utterly retarded, misleading and untrue as this… Right?

  • Geepers

    You have no right to call yourself a gamer. All of your points are invalid.

  • king

    hes taking the piss to get hits im assuming, use your brain

  • KIWIPUNK

    HES HAVING A LAUGH U BUNCH OF MORONS

  • Matt

    you believe that take two should allow to have a shitty online play, and have that time taken out from the story. I am happy that take two played the smart game and focus on a story driven game vs online crap

  • RealKat

    Are you fuckin kidding me? Those are the worse reasons ever, and you’re pirating? How the hell did you get on this site?

  • Russell Gorall

    HITS HITS HITS

  • http://twitter.com/Garibububububu Chad White

    It’s a joke guys its meant to make you go haha

  • Nate

    This is absolute garbage. Please stop writing.

  • John Doe

    I wonder how scoring all the clicks with hot topic controversy makes your puny website any less irrelevant.

  • http://twitter.com/Tomjakes Thomas Jacobs

    Issues I have with this article:
    1 – No multiplayer doesn’t make a game bad, it means that devs can focus more on the single player story and fixing bugs to make the game more enjoyable.
    2 – Yes you’re pretty much escorting Elizabeth around in the game, but this is to create an emotional attachment to Elizabeth and to see her “evolve” in the world.
    3 – Racism. The game is set in 1912, with A LOT of racism in those days. And to say that there isn’t racism in the age we live in, you are so wrong. Just watch Football or Soccer if you’re American.
    4 – And finally real gamers aren’t ones who play CoD or Fifa all the time, they’re the ones that go searching for games that guarantee enjoyment and immersion. Bioshock Infinite is one of those games, and it goes down in my books as one of, if not the greatest game I’ve ever played.

  • Chode

    Play the game fully and then write what you think and a serious story is what pulls people in. Multiplayer is a big factor in games, but bioshock is known for it’s single player not multiplayer. This is more like why you don’t want to buy the game, not “Real” gamers.

  • Ibi Salmon

    Guys, you do realize that this is a joke article, right?

  • Kamedo

    Please, Please.. Never write a review again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Arminies Armin Stojanović

    /Facepalm…

    all the reason he lists why we wont buy it is WHY we bought it, lol

    The Delay, Yeah we love the delay cuz it made a better more polished game, unlike all the reused Shit we get every Year.

    Columbia isn’t Rapture, Thats y we want this and not Bioshock 2 cuz its a new world thats fresh not the same old shit,

    No Multiplayer, MP in Bioshock 2 was so shit it hurt the game in the long run cuz it took time from the SP dev.

    Giant Escort Mission, yeah Elizabets is escorting you considering she saves you all the time. lol

    Racism, thats the world they set up in the time and arent afraid to show how it was, i mean they give you a mission to Stone people is you want… yeah Adult themes is what we need in games o be taken more seriously,

  • Mr. Sarcastism

    This is such as great joke article! I was laughing so hard as I read how Bioshock 2 is better than Bioshock 1 based on multiplayer and how racism makes the game less intriguing because “racism is dead.” I also laughed when he said that prologues are the best stories in franchises or how Bioshock Infinite is going to suck because of the delay just like Duke Nukem. LOL! GREAT ARTICLE and an EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF VIDEO GAME JOURNALISM!!!

  • dominion1978

    Wow, i’ve never read a less informed or more ignorant article. Real gamers won’t play it? I’ve been playing games for more than 25 years. Don’t get much more real than that.

    1. Anyone with a brain would rather wait to play a game than have it rushed out and be disappointed.

    2. Columbia isn’t Rapture, true enough. I, however, have been to Rapture twice, and I am quite enjoying exploring a new place.

    3. Bioshock is a single player game, get over it. If you want tacked on MP, there are plenty of games with it.

    4. Wrong in every sense. If anything Elizabeth escorts you through the world, giving you money and supplies.

    5. Yes there is racism, but it fits with the era the game takes place in. If you’re so sensitive that you can’t deal with that I don’t really know what to tell you.

  • lt._dan_zsu

    If this isn’t trolling, I don’t know what is. Bioshock infinite was delayed once. Bioshock 2 the best one? If this guy is serious, he should go into a corner and die.

  • dan

    All i have to say is grow a brain and read a book. Not all games require Multiplayer. It needs to fit and boishock infinite doesn’t fit . Its better that it didn’t have any multiplayer. Columbia isn’t Rapture is a freaking game. it snot mean to be the real columbia. Hell if you want to do that ,, what about God of war. It suppose to use the greek mythology to tell a tale but the greek mythology they use is completely inaccurate,. They jsut use their names an told their own made up story. I mean how can you kill immortal gods LOL and yet you love the game, Really shows how intelligent you are haha

    • dominion1978

      This is the same kind of idiot whining that there isn’t MP in the Elder Scrolls games.

  • Playerb

    What? You are idiot. Nothing more to say for this article.

  • Vin

    This article should be titled “Why I won’t purchase Bioshock Infinite”. You are not as in touch with the “real gamers” as you think you are. Real gamers have likely already purchased this game so your title isn’t going to work. Furthermore, it’s a game and an expression of ideas. It will not be for everyone. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. I’m sick of all of these game bloggers who wish they were real writers and feel like they need to sway people away from things. Go play SimCity or Barbie Adventure or whatever it is you do enjoy playing and stop writing shitty articles with titles that are completely ignorant of facts.

  • Ture

    This is the most stupid list I’ve read in a long time, is this satire?

  • http://twitter.com/SpetsnazSniper A Free American

    I played the game, Great graphics, boring story, boring slow gameplay, Very repetative and too easy, the locations are all pretty much the same looking, I could not finish the game, I uninstalled after about 3/4 or so, I tried to finish but it was just too dull. They should have stayed underwater, this new location has no spooky feel to it what so ever. The tonic powers are lacking in number and upgrades, When I first started up the game and was at the lighthouse with the rain in the storm, it was beautiful. I thought wow, look at these graphics and attention to detail, this is going to be a blast. then you get to columbia and after half an hour you have seen pretty much everything you are going to see, the game peeks about a quarter of the way through then its all down hill from there. Great graphics but would have been so much better looking in rapture. this game is just not fun. DO NOT PURCHASE, Rent if you must. What a dissapointment.

    • dirkradke

      Fortunately, for 2K and Irrational Games the majority of the people don’t agree with you and neither do I. One of the reasons I purchased it was because it was nothing like rapture. Although I can certainly see if you find the story boring it can be a turn off to play the game to get through it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/reubenpatrick.tolentino Reuben Patrick Tolentino

    Satire… You’re doing it… pretty badly

  • Katarsius

    This made me laugh so bad I almost fell off the chair.

    First of all, annual releases of BioShock? Are you kidding me? Assassin’s Creed and other franchises are ruined because of Annualization, those things ruin franchises, you get too much and it kills the replay value.

    I actually thought that the delay was a good move, I’d rather play a polished game, than a rushed one, because an idiot like you demanded an unfinished product. And if it was delayed again, I wouldn’t be mad, it’s their choice, they want to finish the product, and we have to give them all the time that they need.

    Racism, oh you heard something racist and you started flipping out, it’s called being authentic to the time period, if you can’t take it, don’t play the game.

    No Multiplayer – oh god, just because game has multiplayer doesn’t mean it’s good. BioShock’s 2 Multiplayer felt out of place, and I’m glad they dropped it in Infinite. I’d rather have a great single player experience,

    All in all, the writer of this article is butthurt and wants attention.

  • Sam

    What a closed minded person this Luke Frazier is. I stopped reading after he tried to compare this game to Duke Nukem in relation to time. Basically saying just because a game is taking longer than usual to release, that means it sucks and everything about it sucks. You suck. “Plain rude”? You try to make and release a game like bioshock and stick to your release date. You probably wouldn’t get past the first frame of the story board.

  • nigger hater

    what’s wrong with a bit of casual racism. fuck those dirty aids infected nigger cunts.

  • Guest

    Can’t tell if troll or just really stupid.

  • Dave

    So let me get this straight… you’re urging people not to buy the game because it was delayed, has different features than the original, and is too smart for you?

    Delays happen. They’re frustrating, but generally speaking it means -the developer cares about the product it puts out-. Of all the games I’ve followed from announcement to release, I can’t even think of one that didn’t get at least one delay. And according to the internet – which is obviously a capitalist marketing tool used to fool us into buying games we’d probably buy anyway – they delays paid off. I can only imagine what this article would have looked like if the delays hadn’t happened.

    Sequels are going to be different from their originals. We’ve been to Rapture. Now let’s try something else. And sign me up for an “escort mission” if the character I’m escorting opens up a giant range of new gameplay mechanics.

    Do you honestly think a high budget game like this could get away with being blatantly racist? It’s called social commentary. I’m sure you think Mark Twain was a racist, too.

    And the punch line: you’re still trying to play the game.

    Ugh. The online gaming community.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001913974451 Валентин Савва

    Одно слово-Долбаеб!

  • IdiotUpThere

    Wow you’re an idiot.

  • http://twitter.com/godofrawr Ian Erb

    I didn’t need to read anything outside of your heading to realize you represent everything that’s wrong with games.
    Delays can make a game better.
    Multiplayer makes a game worse.
    Elizabeth can’t die, so it’s not an escort.
    Columbia isn’t supposed to be Rapture.
    Racism is part of the core narrative.
    I’m not sure if you’re simply trolling, or if you’re genuinely too stupid to understand the game. In either case, please stop writing, and stop playing video games.

  • Helios

    Even if you missed the satire as you read the article surely the fact that it is tagged as ‘satire’ should have made that clear. Not the best written satire in the history of satires but it made me chuckle.

  • The truth

    Hey editor of the article, bioshock 2 multiplayer sucked so hard, and THAT is universally known. And bioshock 1 is also seen as the best by nearly all reviewes i read i read about 5-8 independent ones).
    Ps. The racism only makes it more clear the Columbia is failed place that should be gone from the earth, and the world is set in 1912, if there was no racism in the game would have been so much less realistic -.-

  • SierraKhaar

    ” When I want serious stuff, I’ll watch Fox News. For now, I want to game. And I’ll game with absolutely anything that isn’t entitled BioShock Infinite.”

    If that does not tell you SATIRE, then what does?

  • http://twitter.com/Juhis815 Juhis815

    “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right” THIS. FUCKING. STATEMENT. MAKES. YOUR. POINTS. INVALID.

  • shahab

    Bioshock Infinite is my game of the years the real gamer should try a masterpiece like bioshock infinite if your not gamer and like most of the people only playing call of duty and call your self a gamer than don’t play this game but if u are a real gamer than u should play this game

  • Luke Fraizer

    Trying to be funny but you just sound like a cunt.

  • james

    i havent played either bioshock but i will say that all I’ve heard is that bioshock 1 was much better than bioshock 2…multiplayer and rasicm as well?

    this has gotta be a troll article. “I haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right”

    you deserve to lose your job. not because of piracy because of ignorance. do everyone a favor and stop writing articles

  • techsvengali

    This has to be a troll post because if you are serious.. you dumb bro.

  • NachoKingP

    I know it was subtle but it was kinda obvious that the article was satire y the ridiculous points he made. I thought it was worth a laugh or two.

    • NachoKingP

      *by

    • dirkradke

      Found the author laughable, but not the article. The article is just stupid not satirical at all to me. If Luke was going for subtlety – he failed.

  • Ron Armstrong

    All I know is, I played it, twice, and it not only revolutionizes the genre, but gaming. It is the single best story I have ever encountered, while having nearly flawless fun game play. You are truly missing out on history as this might go down as the best game ever.

    I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.

    • dakan45

      “revolutionizes the genre, but gaming.”

      I fucking facepalmed.

      Ok so System shock 2 had skills that were based on weapons and hacking, resources for hacking and buying stuff, upgrading. You moved back and fourth threw levels.Then bioshock came and simplify everything. No skills, you can hack as many times as you want, All weapons and powers acquired freelly.

      Now infinite comes along and it is wayy too damn linear. Bioshock felt like a real location, you could explore. Infinite is basicly a road with a escort mission and a backdrop filled with buildings and doors that you cant open. There are no rpg elements the game is a shooter with overpowered guns and abilities and you call that revolutionizing the genre and gaming? So going backwards and a game that THEY MADE from 1999 having better and more deep gameplay is the result of making games better in the future of simplification that Irrational has dived into and you call that a “revolution”.

      But hey, the game has very lifelike elizabeth and has story and art style and animation, so it must be “amazing” despite that the actual gameplay is rather simplistic and way too linear and scripted.

      Might as well play call of duty, look at the animations of the characters and collect intel pickups.

      Is this where gaming is heading? To making everything immersive-like with simplified actiony gameplay and very believable graphics and animations that you might as well watch a movie instead of playing a game for 60 bucks.

      If thats how games on next gen systems are gonna be, the actual “Gamers” will leave gaming forever.

      Hell, the new metal gear will be open world. I wonder why didnt kojima turn it into a linear shooter with scripted events like most games outhere, gee i dont know, becuase its a REAL game.

  • welligotit

    this is pretty lawls. expect many to miss the sarcasm in 3…2…1…

  • hesoyamdonMonster

    oooo thats why real gamers’ buy call of duty. why is their so many hates for call of duty then ? please stop writing these stupids article, these games are made by those who love game and they try all their very best to make the best, so stop complaining, or try making a single game like bioshock, if ur able to do so, then came and complaining.

    Real gamers will always play all games no matter it has Multiplayer or not, if you dont like the theme, then dont play it. these great developer spends million and millions of $ and time for these games, so respect them for that !

  • Cooker

    Wrong , Real gamer will play any games as long as they has awesome gameplay and suits their’s taste . And clearly Bioshock Infinite doesn’t suit your taste . .

  • http://twitter.com/homeboy79 Erick Matthew

    Look. I’m sorry, but…This is a poorly written article. Your points have no backing and your drives have no solid ground to help get the words anywhere. I commend you on the attempt and for giving me something to read. You clearly love games and writing, so, please, don’t let this comment discourage you. I’m not trolling. It seems like you need a little education, though. Comparing Bioshock to CoD on more than one occasion and in different contexts? Really? By the way, wtf: “BioShock Infinite has been delayed at least a dozen times. Or if it hasn’t, it sure feels like it. You know what that is? Plain rude.”. Article’s integrity = gone. I could go on, however, I would rather not block up this comment section more than I already have. Later.

    • dakan45

      ” Comparing Bioshock to CoD on more than one occasion and in different contexts?’

      Yes motherfucker, yes infinite is entirelly too linear, what are you people? Retarded or simply have not played the fuckign game?

  • Jamie

    so you’re writing this whole article without even playing the game? maybe if you pulled your head out of your arse long enough to give it a try you’d find out that it’s actually a solid campaign with a good story that benefits from all the stuff you’re hating on

  • neil

    this guys and idiot. coming from a guy who pirates games openly and then has the nerve to slag of a game he wasnt even going to pay for

  • http://twitter.com/oliethefolie oliethefolie

    Giant escort mission? Hah! I bet this guy thinks that Othello by William Shakespeare was a romcom.

  • wolf

    say what now? Real gamers want multiplayer? and people tell me not to hate those gamers born out of multiplayers and arguing with the big guys

  • http://www.facebook.com/kellan.martin.77 Kellan Martin

    lol… article is a joke im sure, the twat of an author is just trying to get a reaction outta the gaming community… good for page views :) seems to be working

  • Will Russell

    I started playing the game and it was great… but then I looked down and couldn’t see my legs. It was then that I cursed the heavens, and broke the disk. I will never get back the 5 minutes it took for me to look down. I hope the developers are ashamed.
    Bioshock Infinite 0/10.

    • That one guy

      LOL

  • john franklin

    “It’s an undeniable fact that trilogies are the ultimate formula for a franchise” – what a crock. With the exception of the bourne and star wars trilogy, i believe that most 3rd films and games very rarely compare to the 1st and second. Not that they are bad, just not as good as the first 2. if there is going to be a 3rd, it should be a re invention that bio shock infinite is delivering otherwise the gameplay and the things people loved about the 1st two becomes stale and just feels like developers are cashing in on the franchise. Also disagree with everything else you said.

  • Tomy

    the stupidest article i ever read

  • Chris

    You’re everything that is wrong with the gaming world my friend luke.

    From the whining, trolling, to the fact that the devs didn’t do somthing the way “you” wanted it (and if they did it the way you wanted it you’d just flip that coin in a second).

    So bad, terrible, gimmicky article….

    • Chris

      oh god I just read the word satire. I feel like a tool now.

  • http://welshpixie.com/ Welsh Pixie

    Internet trolls have killed the ability to push an effective satire. You just never know these days. (Until you read the comments: “Luke Frazier – You’re absolutely right on every single point. And that’s what makes satire.” Thanks for verifying, because sadly, I wasn’t sure >.< Darn trolls ruining our satire fun!)

    • http://twitter.com/homeboy79 Erick Matthew

      Well, to be fair. It was convincing ignorance and stupidity up to that phrase.

    • Helios

      It’s tagged as satire though….kinda gives it away prior ti the comments. ;)

      • http://welshpixie.com/ Welsh Pixie

        Psh, looking at tags is far too sensible.

    • Spherix

      Poe’s Law, to be sure. But still, have you ever seen anyone who would actually agree with the article, and yet be capable of forming complete sentences? It’s too well written to be serious.

      • http://welshpixie.com/ Welsh Pixie

        Hah. There is that.

  • http://www.bentarrant.tumblr.com/ Ben Tarrant

    You haven’t played it, so to put it simply.. Your opinion is invalid. If delays cause you to not play a game you’re going to have problems with a lot of big releases. Films like Django Unchained tackle racism, that’s no reason to say they aren’t amazing articles of cinema? I suggested you replay Bioshock one and reassess your multiplayer section also. And well done sir, this isn’t rapture, instead it’s an all new and amazingly crafted world. Turn your blinkers off, stop putting something down before you’ve even played it and rent it? Might work a little better than your pirated game. It’s a sad world when journalists start condoning piracy.

  • ProfessorGerbik

    “haven’t played BioShock Infinite yet because my pirated copy still won’t run right”

    Yes admit you are breaking federal law, with all your information on this site. Very intelligent. Then to write off a game you haven’t even managed to play yet, even more intelligent.

  • macusernick

    I’m really wondering if this guy even played the game?! Seriously…

    Long delay = better production value and no loss of sleep for me. Also I’m really glad they don’t make a new one every year… that is exactly how series get very diluted.

    Columbia is not Rapture = fresh change of pace… I’m so tired of every game going with the “creepy” and “moody” ambiance… it’s very nice to have something up in the clouds with bright colors.

    No multiplayer = Thank God I don’t have to listen to any whining 12-year-old talking about stupid sh*t. Also it actually forces a dev to come up with original single player content and not just rely on a broken (single/multiplayer) engine every year.

    Giant escort mission = Duh that is kindof the point of the game. Also it is called emotional attachment and depth. Not just randomly shooting faceless terrorists which leads me to the last point…

    Racism = You obviously never played this game or something. You also probably thought the civil war was only about slavery too. Maybe this game is too complex in thought for you?! I would suggest you go back to your rinse and repeat shooters then and leave intelligent gaming to those who will actually appreciate it.

    /rant

    • dakan45

      “Giant escort mission = Duh that is kindof the point of the game. Also
      it is called emotional attachment and depth. Not just randomly shooting
      faceless terrorists which leads me to the last point…”

      NO its called a linear game with the sole purpuse to capture shooter bro gamers. Notice how elizabeth is not on the box but the big bulky dude with his gun is and irrational though necessary to do it to get that audience.

      Infinite is a disgrace to the shock name, it has really no actual SHOCK gameplay left, its a linear shooter with overpowered weapons.

  • dakan45

    The real reason?

    Because it as a dumbed down linearized version of bioshock AS IF bioshock wasnt smiplified and linearized enough already.

    Why msut every game turned into a linear shooter? What happen to rpg and nonlinear levels? What happen to gamers with brains?

  • Sayak Majumder

    A bioshock game every year? Bioshock 2 better than the original? Racism?
    Have you gone mad??

    • dakan45

      No you gone bad. YES 2 was better than the original. Lets recap

      1.Better story that WAS NOT RIPPED OF DIRECTLY FROM SYSTEM SHCOK 2
      2.Better combat.
      2. Better enemies.
      3.Better guns
      4.Better hacking
      5. Better goal
      6. Better level design

      Also yeah infinite is the most racist game ever.

      • Ez

        stop recapping and enjoy the game, alot of times moved on since the first shock games so stop crying about it

        • dakan45

          Most useless comment ever.

      • http://twitter.com/CodyLOrr Cody Orr

        There were less than 5 lines of racism, at least that I heard. There are definitely not the most racist game ever, but in terms of Bioshock itself ,then yes.

      • Poop

        Trolololo

        • Dakan45

          TRUE TRUE TRUE

          What are you a fucking retard? all those points are correct.

    • I’m utterly disgusted!

      This comments section reeks of idiots! I’m outta here!

  • Nihil

    You’re a total idiot. The mutiplayer in Bioshock 2 tanked really badly and many prefer the story in Bioshock 1. Sure the gameplay elements are refined in Bioshock 2 but it just doesn’t have the sticking power of Bioshock 1. And don’t even get me started on writing an article about real gamers and then claiming your pirated copy wont work. You make me sick, you don’t deserve to be a gamer. Also the racism is important because it takes place when racism is still key.

    • dakan45

      As if bioshock stack to the power of bioshock 1 as if infinite is sticking EVEN to the power of bioshock 2. Seriously a linear shooter with life-like female lead doenst stuck up to the gameplay of the first game.

      • Poop

        Why are you replying to everyone?

  • http://www.facebook.com/giovanni.roverso Giovanni Andrew Roverso

    I think you’re being overly harsh. Personally I think it’s a bit boring but still better than bioshock 2… plsu have you ever played Bio 2’s multiplayer? it was pitiful. And it also looks like you haven’t really seen any interviews except for what you posted.

    And writing such a negative review without even having played the game? seriously?

  • gamerassociationisgarbage

    OBVIOUS troll post.

  • Andrew Jones

    Dude, you didn’t lay on the sarcasm enough. I mistook this for real until 3rd point.

    • MAx M

      I was getting ready to shit myself before I calmly read the whole thing.

      Good editorial!

  • http://www.facebook.com/bocajbee Jacob McPotato

    The game is depicting how extreme racism is bad. It doesn’t promote it…

  • Disgusted.

    You are f*cked man, it’s like your jealous or some shit. Your complaining that they changed the setting. Get the fuck over it; if it was rapture you would be bored of it. I’ve lost hope in people because of stupid people like you.. thank you for ruining my night.

  • http://www.angrymetalguy.com Angry Metal Guy

    “Universally believed to be the better of the two games”? Are you fucking kidding me? I have never met a person who thought that Bioshock 2 was better than Bioshock. It lacked almost everything that made Bioshock good: that is – the amazing writing, the gripping story, integrated into a beautiful world. The beautiful world was there, but the story was hack, the writing was bad.

    Also, the racism is part of the point of BSI. It’s social commentary.

    Hell, even the delay is hardly a problem. Waiting for the game took no years off your life, cost you absolutely nothing and guaranteed a better product; apparently the only negative effect it had was hurting your sense of entitlement. If only Bioware had delayed Dragon Age II by a couple years…

    • http://twitter.com/LukeAFrazier Luke Frazier

      You’re absolutely right on every single point. And that’s what makes satire.

      • http://www.angrymetalguy.com Angry Metal Guy

        Argh. Punked. :P

      • toof

        i kind of missed that point too, i guess i wasn’t really reading all the way through each point, but i definitely strated suspecting, when you mentioned Ico. Good article.

      • http://twitter.com/homeboy79 Erick Matthew

        Satire?! You’re claiming your article is satire?! HA! Do you even know what that means?

        • theat001

          You’re absolutely right on every single point. And that’s what makes (that comment) satire. Nah just kidding, he’s probably an idiot.

      • Abdulistan

        You’re just a retarded writer disguising his attention whoring needs.
        Shove some satire up your ass, faggot.

        • swordsman

          wow. anger issues much?

          • Abdulistan

            You are late for the party.

          • lol

            you actually love this article? pfft don’t ever let me see you again pathetic.

      • http://twitter.com/GreenMistt Miller

        Ha. This is an awful attempt at satire.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elias-Sideras/581859020 Elias Sideras

          My thought exactly.

      • Titanium

        uff at last, a voice of reason….

      • cusman

        Luke how clearly you misjudged the general Internet audience. I get your whole article is a poor attempt at satire, but the Internet is full of rage nerds with not much brains and you just crossed them.

      • Axe99

        Ahh – well if you’re going to do satire, might pay to work on it a little ;).

      • http://www.facebook.com/eduardvictor Eduard Victor Toma

        There is a huge difference between satire and this shit tier trolling article.

        Zero Punctuation is review satire done right, all I see here is shit trolling and outright lies that my 12 year old cousin could do better.

        • http://www.facebook.com/silvian.aster.7 Silvian Aster

          The first thing i thought of while reading this was how Yahtzee would get a kick out of this review if only it was for Bioshock2

    • dakan45

      2 was better than the original. Lets recap

      1.Better story that WAS NOT RIPPED OF DIRECTLY FROM SYSTEM SHCOK 2
      2.Better combat.
      2. Better enemies.
      3.Better guns
      4.Better hacking
      5. Better goal
      6. Better level design

      The point of the previous 4 SHOCK games was freedom and nonlinearity and choice NOT a social commentary.

      • V

        are you a retarded person?

        • Dakan45

          No but you are, the game is shit, the ending is shit, the gunplay is bull, It is a crappy linear shooter, way too repettitive, and borring.

          Please bioshock infinite is bullshit, you stupid faggots like that shit?

          • 3pedro3

            I agree with some points, the gunplay is dull, but the story is what makes you forget that, Elisabeth is one of the best characters ever made. it IS a crappy linear shooter, but like spec ops: the line, that doesn’t matter.

          • Dakan45

            Yeah but al the maps are the same, go there shoot samey enemies, mash the use button get items, repeat. I enhoyed borderlands 2 and resident evil 6 more than this, for one simply reason, the campagin had variety and more characters and enemy types, i was doing new things all the time.

            In bioshock infinite i did the same thing all over, it could have been a 5 hour game but they dragged it on for 15 hours.

            On top of that i recoomend checking the E3 gameplay footate that has beter gameplay than the actual game, better dialogues, better sound, better ai, better art, better gunplay ,better sripted moments, better enviroments.

            If only it was like that. So yeah the delay does mater if they deliver a worse product that is nowhere near as good as E3.

            and yes i did enjoy black ops 2 more than this because the campaign was more varied, dont hate me just because i enjoyed cod more.

            Columbia isn’t as good as rapture, its one linear road with buildings in the sky, it doesnt feel like an actual place. The enviroments are too linear, the narrative is in the logs is nowhere near as good as the last 2 games. There are less logs and you dont get to learn many things about the lore and the world like the lat 2 games. Eg the last 2 bioshock games were all about plasmids. Vigors however are just “there” there isnt a deep explanation behind they existance and purpuse on the world

            I thougth the ending was shit, elizabeth sits and explains everything for everyone to understand it and if felt all the hours i spend in this game were wasted since my character died.

            Dont get me started on pulling a key out of her breats and say “i dont know where it came from, it was just there an i never noticed”

            AMAZING WRITING RIGHT THERE BRAH.

            Best character ever? Pff, everytime elizabeth talks i get close to her to see her looking at the player while talking and she turns around and runs away….instead of you know looking at the goddamn player while talking.

            Immersion-blown, alyx in hl2 in 2004 did it better than this overhyped trash.

          • 3pedro3

            I respect you opinion, I won’t write a big comment because I’m really lazy :(. Also, If they did a role playing game in an open Columbia, where you just explored like a regular person, I would shit myself and play it for lots of hours until I did EVERYTHING.

          • Dakan45

            i would also shit myself if the maps were as big as say borderlands or dragon age.

    • http://twitter.com/OldLeafNick Nick Cane

      What?! AMG commented on our site?! I’m a huge fan of your writing! Thank you.

      • http://www.angrymetalguy.com Angry Metal Guy

        Just a friendly rant. :D

  • Ridge

    I didn’t know there was racism. There isn’t enough racism in any of my hobbies anymore. Sign me up!

    • http://twitter.com/OldLeafNick Nick Cane

      as a point of order, it is more of case of Nationalism than racism in BSI.

      • Ridge

        It’ll have to do…

        • SierraKhaar

          Atleast we are given something else then crazy terrorist arabs/russians/chinese. THAT is real racism.

          • er

            it would be great if there was a game that has no racism for a change, like killing american terrorists army pigs.

          • Snake

            That in itself is racist

      • smikey1123

        No, it is actual racism. Someone actually says “are you taking your coffee black these days” if you hesitate to do something racist.

        • Ridge

          Silly racists. Don’t they understand that black coffee is a great caffeine infused replacement for water. Cream and sugar just adds needless calories. Not to mention that is how men drink it

        • awdawd

          It’s not racism, that’s ignorance. Call it racist is denying the history of america. That’s how they spoke, that’s how they treated african-americans. It’s REALISM not RACISM

          • Is that really a punishment?

            Calling something a historical fact doesn’t mean it’s not racist. I believe the point is that historically they were racist

      • suspicious

        This article is very weird. It’s almost as if the author tries to make their article sound stupid on purpose so that any other legitimate article that criticize this game with some similar issue like the ones mentioned here would be considered stupid as well. Hmmm…

        • ben klein

          that maybe true, but i couldn’t care less for this piece of trash game anyway

  • http://www.facebook.com/logan.hollinger Logan Hollinger

    Yeesh, we seem to be operating on an even deeper level of irony than I usually occupy.

  • http://twitter.com/OldLeafNick Nick Cane

    … this … might get some hate mail

    • http://www.gamers-association.com/ Andrew Moreno

      I’d agree with that!

      • Ronnie

        I disagree with the no multiplayer. So many games have tacked-on multiplayer that nobody plays after a week. I think it’s good that it doesn’t have any (though some form of co-op could have been great).

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